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First of all, I’m sorry for everything you’re going through. I’m also sorry for everything I’m going through too. Our situations are testing both of us and we’re going to find out what we’re made of. Please do not give up. Please read on.
FWIW, I’m not gay, but my son is, and I have several gay friends, including one that lost sexual function due to prostate issues. All of us who lost sexual function as a result of treatment are in the same boat and it’s not the “Love Boat”.
Not a lot of things make me sad but losing sexual function is something Ive thought about every day since my surgery this past January. For a guy who just turned 69, my wife and I enjoyed an active and loving sex life and losing that has at the times been heartbreaking for a multitude of reasons. Before surgery, my surgeon warned me that severe ED was highly likely and because I have a never give up attitude I told him “If anyone is going to beat those odds it’s going to be me.” He liked my attitude done and still does now.
I am six months past surgery and I’m meeting with a urologist in three weeks to address the issue.
I already tried a vacuum erection device. It wasn’t for me. Cialis hasn’t helped yet either. Viagra probably won’t work. I’m going to talk to the urologist about using Tri-mix injections to get erections. My surgeon and my oncologist both support the idea. Am I enthusiastic about having to inject myself in the penis to get sexual function back? Of course the answer is no but if it works, I think it’ll be worth it. Information on tri-mix here: https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/papaverine-injection-route/side-effects/drg-20065314?p=1
If the injections don’t work, I’m going to look into receiving a penile implant. I have two acquaintances that have received them, and both are satisfied with their sex lives since getting them. One man is gay, the other is straight. Here’s information on that: https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/papaverine-injection-route/side-effects/drg-20065314?p=1
Northwestern Medicine is one of the few cancer centers of excellence and has put together a program for gay and bisexual men who are dealing with prostate cancer. Here is a link to the page which also has further links. I hope this helps you in some way. https://www.nm.org/-/media/northwestern/resources/care-areas/urology/northwestern-medicine-prostate-cancer-in-gay-and-bisexual-men-brochure.pdf
Thanks for trusting us here on the form to share your feelings. You are not alone.
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I am in that same "boat". I had a RP in October 2021 and have not had a natural erection since. The addition of pelvic radiation further damaged the erectile nerves so it's a done deal. I was on Lupron for one year (last 3 month injection was July 2023) but my T has yet to come back to even above castrate levels.
The prostate cancer and subsequent treatments have obliterated my previously robust and highly enjoyable sex life. I have climaturia (some urine ejaculation with orgasm) which has further complicated things. My wife is having issues dealing with it all as well.
I have used the Trimix. It took a few injections to find the right dose. It was highly effective for me; I had an erection like I was a teenager and it took 1-2 hours for it to go down. Vacuum device wasn't for me either although I still use it a couple of times a week to "keep the blood flowing".
Good luck to you. Terrible disease and the treatment side effects are just about as bad as the disease itself, unfortunately.
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Thank you for taking the time to write all this out and send these resources. They're excellent.
My feelings are on a seesaw most days. I do OK and even well when around family and friends, and when exercising or hiking with my goofy dog, but then when I'm alone the bad feelings start creeping in, especially at night. I don't mean to be so doom and gloom but that's just the feelings I have. I also don't know how many of them are "real" and how many are caused by Lupron. Several people have said Lupron causes bad feelings, others say the bad feelings are just from having cancer.
I wish doctors could be more forthcoming. I went to a major NCI cancer center and thought I asked all the appropriate questions of the urologist, radonc and medonc but I guess I didn't.
I've talked to a couple guys in my support group who had implants and two of them loved it but one said it looked great but they had no sensation. Since that's permanent I would definitely want to research it a lot before doing it.
I will definitely ask about Orgovyxx. My Lupron shots are being billed at more than $12K (fortunately insurance covers them) so I can't imagine they wouldn't cover Orgovyxx which costs about the same.