Looking For Advice: Prostate cancer spread to lungs

Posted by desperatedaughter @desperatedaughter, Jul 30 12:20pm

Hello. My father was diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer. It has spread to his lungs. I am looking for advice from any one going through the same thing. Any advice with treatment or what to expect. I am just a desperate daughter trying to save her dad. I don't know where to go from here. We just found out this morning. I am at a loss for words, and am totally blown back from this news. Any advice helps. Thank you in advance.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Prostate Cancer Support Group.

My best piece of advice is go to a recognized "cancer center of excellence" if that's an option available to you. Google it and you'll easily find one. I did (Mayo Phoenix) and I was very happy I did. I felt the advice and care was outstanding. Also, I'd recommend Dr. Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer Paperback – October 3, 2023. It's on Amazon and it's the best $20 I ever spent. It really helped educate me on some key points in my decision making. My prostate cancer situation is quite different from your father so I don't have any specific advice for you. Best wishes to you and him.

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Can you provide a bit more informtion? For example do you know his Gleason Score? Does he have a medical oncologist yet? Did they you use the term "oligometastatic" to describe the number of tumors?
I was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer as my cancer has metasisized as well , but only in one place (that can be seen from my PMSA PET Scan). I can tell you what I am doing but it may not be applicable in your Father's case.
In the meantime let me say that I am very sorry your family is going through this. Your Father is a fortunate to have a daughter like you who is willing to help shoulder his burden.

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@retireditguy

My best piece of advice is go to a recognized "cancer center of excellence" if that's an option available to you. Google it and you'll easily find one. I did (Mayo Phoenix) and I was very happy I did. I felt the advice and care was outstanding. Also, I'd recommend Dr. Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer Paperback – October 3, 2023. It's on Amazon and it's the best $20 I ever spent. It really helped educate me on some key points in my decision making. My prostate cancer situation is quite different from your father so I don't have any specific advice for you. Best wishes to you and him.

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Just to tout Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer Paperback.
It's very helpful since it's written in a way you can focus on the chapters most applicable to your/your dad's specific situation.
Since you're probably in a frenzy of info right now that's very helpful.
You're a great daughter. Good luck and God Speed to you both.

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@mhreed39

Can you provide a bit more informtion? For example do you know his Gleason Score? Does he have a medical oncologist yet? Did they you use the term "oligometastatic" to describe the number of tumors?
I was recently diagnosed with Stage 4 prostate cancer as my cancer has metasisized as well , but only in one place (that can be seen from my PMSA PET Scan). I can tell you what I am doing but it may not be applicable in your Father's case.
In the meantime let me say that I am very sorry your family is going through this. Your Father is a fortunate to have a daughter like you who is willing to help shoulder his burden.

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Hello. Thank you for your response. I apologize you are going through this as well. I am not sure what his Gleason score is. It's still so early of diagnosis it's been test after test. He is in severe pain to where he can't even get out of the bed to walk. They are only giving him 5mg of oxy and refuse to give him a higher dose. I am not happy with the care they have given him. Nobody has treated it as it is important and have prolonged treatment. So much so we decided to go get a second opinion today. He has seen an oncologist, a hematologist, and so many other doctors. We were just told yesterday that it is stage 4 and it's incurable there is nothing they can do except treat to make him comfortable until it pretty much kills him. We refuse to take that as an answer which is why we are getting a second opinion. His PET scan did show it is in his lungs the did a biopsy in a lung procedure to verify for sure and it has indeed traveled. He is the best man I have ever known and I refuse to give up on him. He has taken care of me and fought for me my whole life and now it's time to do the same for him.

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@grandpun

Just to tout Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer Paperback.
It's very helpful since it's written in a way you can focus on the chapters most applicable to your/your dad's specific situation.
Since you're probably in a frenzy of info right now that's very helpful.
You're a great daughter. Good luck and God Speed to you both.

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Thank you for such kind words. Yes we are all in a frenzy. Every day is an emotional roller-coaster. I cry at times, get angry other times and scream it's not fair. I am going through all the stages of grief but trying to remain hopeful and strong for him. I will definitely take the time to grab that book and read it. In the mean time I will keep fighting for him and be his advocate. I wish you the best as well. God bless.

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@desperatedaughter

Thank you for such kind words. Yes we are all in a frenzy. Every day is an emotional roller-coaster. I cry at times, get angry other times and scream it's not fair. I am going through all the stages of grief but trying to remain hopeful and strong for him. I will definitely take the time to grab that book and read it. In the mean time I will keep fighting for him and be his advocate. I wish you the best as well. God bless.

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desperatedaughter -- I agree 100% with @grandpun that Walsh's book is organized so you can quickly drill down on the sections most applicable to your dad's situation. That's what I did for myself. This allowed me to much more quickly come up to speed since it's a fairly thick book.

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@desperatedaughter

Hello. Thank you for your response. I apologize you are going through this as well. I am not sure what his Gleason score is. It's still so early of diagnosis it's been test after test. He is in severe pain to where he can't even get out of the bed to walk. They are only giving him 5mg of oxy and refuse to give him a higher dose. I am not happy with the care they have given him. Nobody has treated it as it is important and have prolonged treatment. So much so we decided to go get a second opinion today. He has seen an oncologist, a hematologist, and so many other doctors. We were just told yesterday that it is stage 4 and it's incurable there is nothing they can do except treat to make him comfortable until it pretty much kills him. We refuse to take that as an answer which is why we are getting a second opinion. His PET scan did show it is in his lungs the did a biopsy in a lung procedure to verify for sure and it has indeed traveled. He is the best man I have ever known and I refuse to give up on him. He has taken care of me and fought for me my whole life and now it's time to do the same for him.

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Very sorry to hear about your Dad's very serious condition. At this point I would just echo what @retireditguy said about getting a second opinion from a cancer center of excellence. Here is map that shows their locations.
https://cmcnetworkmanagementtool.uhc.com/clarity-fhcp/standardNetworkMap.do?product=CRS&population=&designation=COE&lobCode=COMM
If that is not viable I would suggest a cancer center at a major research university.
And while I did not use them myself I believe Johns Hopkins and the Cleveland Clinic will do remote second opinions.
Again, very sorry for your Dad and your family.

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I have stage 4b oligometastatic prostate cancer that spread to my spine. I was diagnosed almost 3 years ago. I'm still here and enjoying my life thoroughly, and have an expectation of many more years ahead.

There's no guarantee that your dad's outcomes will be the same as mine, but prostate cancer treatments have advanced enormously over the past few years. Of course you're both in shock right now, and there's no shortcut through all the stages of shock and grief, but don't give up hope.

Here's an article from last spring about how much the prostate-cancer treatment landscape has changed recently:
https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/treating-prostate-cancer-at-any-stage/

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PSA test for other males in family would be critical.

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@retireditguy

desperatedaughter -- I agree 100% with @grandpun that Walsh's book is organized so you can quickly drill down on the sections most applicable to your dad's situation. That's what I did for myself. This allowed me to much more quickly come up to speed since it's a fairly thick book.

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Great advice . I also recommend this book to newly diagnosed "CLUB MEMBERS " , you know what I mean .
I totally disagree with others on this forum , who are NOT MEDICALLY QUALIFIED , giving treatmentt advice because their cancer " Is the same ." NO we are all different and these people fail the 1st Law of Medical Ethics " Never attempt to diagnose someone and suggest treatment when you have never met the person or know their and their family's medical history ".
The best we can do is sympathise with their situation and direct them to MEDICAL experts in the field of prostate cancer .

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