PN, and trying not to become a one-trick pony …
Hello, PNers!
Only yesterday, I did it again. One of my best friends phoned and said he’d like to come over and visit. ‘For only a short while,’ he said. ‘I know you have home-health nurses coming and going.’ My reply to my best friend? ‘Oh, I don’t know. I have so much to do, emails to send, calls to make. Can we make it another day?’ (It’s not my PN that has me homebound but my recent sepsis infection; that’s why I have home-health nurses ‘coming and going.’)
My wiggling out of a friend’s proposed visit had nothing to do with my having ‘so much to do.’ I was suffering from PN (and sepsis) conversation fatigue. I knew from other visits, initially, during the weeks that sepsis had me in the hospital and, later on, in a rehab facility, that every friend who arrived bedside (or, now that I’m home, sofa-side) would want to talk about my ‘condition,’ be it my PN or sepsis.
It would take very little to set me off on a medical jargon jag: my friend’s entire visit would be taken up with medical blah blah. If I tried to change the subject, I’d have no success. My ‘condition,’ be it PN or sepsis, would be all my friends would want to talk about. After a friend had left, I realized I was much to blame––maybe more so––for our one-subject conversation: I couldn’t get enough of talking about my ‘condition.’
The last thing I had ever wanted to happen was happening: I was becoming my PN. Or my sepsis. Or both. My ‘condition,’ or pair of diseases, was becoming who I was: my identity.
I don’t want to lose my friends, but I want to avoid a situation where, whenever they think of me, the only thing they think is, ‘Ray has such-and-such a disease’––a one-trick pony, in other words. I need to be thought of by my friends as a fully three-dimensional person of numerous identifiers, oh sure, my ‘conditions’ among those identifiers, but way, way, waaaaay down on the list.
I work at this every day. It's that important to me.
Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)
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Great point! I’ve been trying to not mention much about my medical issues, unless I’m asked specifically. My health issues don’t define me. I want to focus on my pluses. I walked briskly on the treadmill today for 2 miles and never got winded! How is that possible? Progress!
Will you make up the missed visit?
Good morning. Celia (@celia16)
A brisk two-mile treadmill walk is an accomplishment, an accomplishment I’d be darn proud of! I’m still struggling to walk safely between my recliner and my Mr. Coffee.
Three cheers for trying not to talk all medical around the clock! It can be a real challenge. I know that not talking all-medical––or, in other words, not being preoccupied with either my PN or my sepsis makes me feel better all-around. I’m a bit of a kook when it comes to such stuff, like putting my medicine bottles out of sight until I need them. That’s maybe just me, but I feel better when I’m not surrounded by the trappings of illness. Crazy, I know.
I try to take extra special care of my friends. I’m lucky in that they’re a pretty understanding bunch. They’ve known for years that I’m basically a loner and don’t seem surprised or puzzled to find I’m not hot to trot for drop-in visits, at least not while I’m still rehabbing (from sepsis) and being seen almost daily by nurses and physical therapists. My friends––who are much the same themselves––seem to understand my need for as much quiet time (non-medical, basically: reading, writing, resting) as I can possibly squeeze out of any busy (one medical activity after another). For now, we try to compensate by having good, long phone conversations, a half hour or more. A
And these days, using the phone spares my friends from going out in this relentless heat.
I wish you the best in clinging to a multi-faceted identity. I’ve noticed too often how aging alone causes people to shed identities; illness and disease only accelerate the shedding.
Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)
I appreciate the kind words. It’s good you have good friends who support you and you them. I do too and it means so much. I hope you’ll be feeling better soon.
I keep my medicine bottles out of sight too! Ha….that’s a coincidence. I keep my daily doses in an organizer that’s kept in a drawer, but I do wear an insulin pump (worn on waistband) and integrated CGM (worn on upper arm) that keeps me aware of my type 1 diabetes. Not too bad though. I’m pretty used to it.
Best wishes on your recovery. It sounds like you are working hard on rehab, recovery, etc. You sound like your sense of humor is in full force. Lol. That makes a huge difference, imo.
I do hope the heat lifts some more. I’m in the southeast and it’s brutal. We’ve gotten a little relief this week, but still in the 90s! My Dad wants me to take him on a little road trip…just a couple of hours. He doesn’t drive anymore.
Sorry Ray @ray666 but I thought you may be young enough to remember this song - first thing I thought of when you started this discussion but it went in one ear and out the other and I forgot to post it until today. Happy Wednesday to all my one trick pony friends (pssst... me too!).
Ha ha! Not only was I young enough to remember One-Trick Pony (I was a big Simon and Garfunkel groupie throughout the folk era), but also I was at their Central Park concert in NYC in 1981 when I was 36. (Oh, wow, was I ever 36?)
If I remember correctly, that concert was shortly after Simon’s One-Trick Pony album was released, although he and Garfunkel didn’t sing One-Trick Pony that night. It made little difference. I wept through the entire concert anyway. 🙂
I was already living in Denver in 1981 and only back in NYC visiting family, but that night––the music, the lyrics (The Boxer, especially), the lights, the joy of the many thousands––made me ache to be back living permanently in NYC again.
Thanks, John, for giving me a wonderful nostalgia trip!
Ray (@ray666)
Good morning, Celia! (@celia16)
My partner and I have had an overabundance of medical paraphernalia collect around her home since she invited me to do my at-home rehabilitation here. For a while, in the wake of my first appointments at the hospital’s wound clinic, cartons of every size, shape, and weight were arriving at my partner’s front door every day. As I type this, I’m sitting in her living room, surrounded by those boxes. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I’d awoken in the middle of an Amazon fulfillment center.
I’m not surprised to hear you say it’s brutally hot in the southeast. My partner’s sister lives on the Gulf Coast and has kept us posted on those brutal temperatures. Here in Colorado, where one might expect it to be drier and cooler, if only a little cooler, it may be drier but it sure is hot. Until my sepsis foot wound heals and I’m able to wear shoes again, I’m not able to drive. Otherwise, my partner and I might have fled up into the high country.
I had best end this. My occupational therapist is due any minute. Let me close by wishing you the best of this Thursday. May we all enjoy a little cooler weather in the not-too-distant days!
Cheers!
Ray (@ray666)
In NC, seems we have intense heat and bad storms….everyday! I’ll welcome the fall, though I normally like summertime.
I keep my pump and cgm supplies in boxes and it can be massive. I hope I can locate this photo of a person traveling with their diabetes supplies. It’s hysterical. Will amend post, if I can locate it.
I love, love Simon & Garfunkle. Not as much as Page and Plant, but still a fan.
Hi, Celia (@celia16)
I’m going to have to look up Page and Plant. I’m not familiar with them. YouTube, here I come!
My partner’s house, where I’m rehabbing not from anything related to my PN but from sepsis, is a multi-story house. Yesterday, trying to be true to my word, I relocated my many pill bottles to a shelf in my partner’s upstairs bathroom. Is that a bit inconvenient? Yes, that’s true, it is, but having to go upstairs (17 steps) is also sneaky extra exercise. When I told my occupational therapist what I had done (putting my pill bottles out of sight and, therefore, out of mind), she thought it was an excellent idea. Keeping my medical paraphernalia ‘elsewhere’ is not a technique that would be a help to everyone, but it does help me. I still tote my cane almost everywhere, but after all these weeks, my cane is more a friend than paraphernalia.
Another HOT day here in the Rockies. I’m sure you’ve another HOT day there where you are. Let’s stay COOL!
Ray (@ray666)
Yaaas! The heat seems to have kept many from the gym today. Only 2 others in the cardio room. Currently 96 degrees here!
Even with the heat, I’ve been parking further from stores and using the walk as exercise. I try to find a tree for shade to park my car. There aren’t many.
Some years ago, several of my cliques were big music fans/concert goers. I saw a lot of shows. And loved it! I saw almost all my favorites and some that weren’t too. Lol. One of my favorites was Page/Plant, formerly lead vocalist and guitarist of Led Zeppelin. I wasn’t very familiar with them as a child, but fell in love with their music as an adult, seeing them for the first time at the Garden in 1995! Life changing! I’ve seen them together since then a few times and Robert solo of with other artists many times. 🫶🏻 Here’s a link for a video they made around the time they were touring together. It gives a little flavor of that particular tour. They had an MTV special called Unledded.
Many of my music friends (a couple used to hang out with Garcia, Crosby and others in Haight Asbury) are suffering from various ailments. When we are able to reunite and celebrate the good times, it’s a treat. Mobility is a biggie and I’m fortunate to be ok with that right now.
Wishing you continued progress on your sepsis recovery. And with your music endeavors.
Hello, Celia (@celia16)
“Mobility is a biggie … “
You can say that again. And again. And again. I agree 100 percent. Just as I was getting accustomed to the somewhat reduced mobility my neuropathy had left me with, along came Mr. Sepsis––and WHACK! my formerly ‘reduced mobility’ that was the result of my neuropathy became even more reduced. Far more reduced. I am slowly recovering from the damage caused by the sepsis. I’ll soon be back to where I was last winter and spring: learning how to manage only my PN-reduced mobility.
If anyone had told me half a year ago that something would come along to make me remember the days when I only had to deal with my neuropathy as the ‘good ol’ days,’ I’d have told them they were crazy. 🙂
I have to hurry. I’m expecting the contractor working on my house to stop by any minute to discuss paint colors, and I’ve yet to choose the colors! I’ll close by wishing you a cool-ish weekend (if possible). It’s 84º here (12 pm), soon to be scrambling up into the 90ºs.
Cheers!
Ray (@ray666