It's a hard decision for sure, BUT here is another perspective. I live in Maryland and met Joanne (about age 80) who had polio as a child, and was living in an assisted living center near me, about 400 yards. I often visit friends there. Joanne was a savvy professional, lived in her own home, husband died, and has 3 kids. Joanne died at about age 93.

She was often lonely for her kids, but her kids and herself it seems decided to move her into the center where she died. She had one daughter in MD, but about 45 minutes away, one daughter in NC and a son in TX, they all were raised in MD but moved away.

Joanne told me that she told them she did NOT want to leave her friends, etc..social life where she always lived. Her daughter in NC tried hard to get their mom to move to NC many years before Joanne really needed them or was unable to assert for her own needs. I watched the daughter in MD, a nurse, struggle to travel to check on her mother. In the latter years, when one is so old, if there is not a squeaky advocate, there is often neglect.

True, decade ago before Joanne died, her kids were busy with their kids lives, but soon enough, her grandkids were grown, and her own kids DID have time to visit more, BUT they were too far away, AND Joanne was in too bad of a physical state to be moved, HOWEVER, she was very mentally aware.

If Joanne had been closer to her own adult kids in the last 10 years or so when she was completely UNABLE to even leave her room, I think she would have been a lot happier with more visits for sure from her adult kids. All the social stuff she did not want to leave, was gone for her long long years ago before she died, then she was just left with total apathetic at times, over-worked strangers who cared for her during their shift, often not even looking at her as they did their duties..no one family to see her daily.

My kids are both in other states, I am 58, AND I have a great social life, but I know that will all likely dwindle in a few short decades, so I intend to move closer to my kids in my early 70s, when I am still able to meet new friends, and be closer to family so it is easier on them to help me.