@msmith49 You can be proud of your accomplishments with weight loss. That is a tough thing to do. To me, that shows a real commitment to improving your health. News certainly can come as a shock when you think you've been doing OK, and suddenly you're not. It's a warning, and you have a chance to change your destiny and better your life. Fear can be quite challenging, but you can take it apart piece by piece and figure out just why it has such a huge grip on your life. When I think about the things I didn't do or accomplish in my life, often I can trace that back to fear of the unknown or a situation I didn't know how to handle.

You can take control of your fear. You do that by educating yourself about what the problems are and how to best improve on them with your doctors. I knew if I didn't have spine surgery, my spinal cord would eventually be damaged and I didn't want that. I had the risk of paralysis. I was a caregiver to my own disabled parents in wheelchairs and I did not want that future for myself if I had the ability to choose my future, and I was lucky that I had the choice. Some people don't get to choose and become disabled. Disability causes financial issues too when a person can no longer care for themselves or be able to take care of their needs for life. I didn't want permanent spinal cord damage. What helped me was to focus on my future and everything I had yet to do. I am an artist, and loosing coordination in my arms was hard to accept because that is what I love to do and express myself by making paintings. Spine surgery gave that back to me.

I learned a lot about myself in this journey. I know you are worried because of past surgeries that caused pain. I understand that, but also understand that this is different and not the same, so don't expect it to be the same. Clear your mind. Start fresh. If you can defeat your fear, you will find strength in other aspects of your life. Fear will no longer control you or steal away your time and joy. Be your own best friend. You owe it to yourself to try, and to be present for this important decision. You're not alone. I really did deprogram my fear permanently. I have been tested with other injuries and unexpected surgery I had to face, and I sailed through it. That was something I didn't think I could do, but somewhere inside, I found the strength to believe that I could do this.

When you stress over your fear, it just makes pain worse and increases blood pressure. Our brains are wired to react to fear and stress as a survival instinct, so knowing that helps you understand why it happens. Take a break from that. You can learn to control your blood pressure with deep breathing. Listen to relaxing music. I did that, and it was the beginning of me learning how to face pain without freaking out. You can do this, and it will help you cope. I was also visualizing beautiful images with the music and deep breathing, and I could call that up in my head any time I needed it to relax myself. That is control when you learn how to do that, and it helps defeat fear.... Also gratitude and being thankful that you are given the opportunity for the medical care you need. It's hard for your mind to be fearful and grateful at the same time, so you replace fear with gratitude. I suggest keep a journal about this and write down your strategy and what you try. That will help solidify it and reassure you.

Does this give you some ideas on what you could do to cope with or lessen your fear of surgery?

Here's a discussion you may like.

Just Want to Talk - "How can I defeat my anxiety about medical tests and surgery?"
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/how-can-i-defeat-my-anxiety-about-medical-tests-and-surgery/