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Carolinlv, just a short comment. I read the part about your daughters saying that "you do it to yourself ", when you first posted it. Of course I know nothing about your daughters and your relationship with them... BUT, when I read this the first time, I gasped out loud and dropped my iPad off my lap. MY OPINION ONLY: this is an amazingly horrible thing to say to you. I am so very sorry for you, to hear this from your daughters. I spilled tears for you. This must've hurt you a lot. I am choosing my words carefully here. I am hoping that they do not live close by you, so you don't have to be hurt by them often. Use your imagination to envision what I would say to them. Hint, 👿😱‼️. I have twin adult daughters who both live in Georgia. One of them told me, 6+- years ago that "my health problems ruined her life." , over the phone. I nearly gagged trying to stop my sobbing. We have not spoken of it at all. Even her sister does not know what she really meant, but her sister does know that she has bad feelings towards me. I share this with you, so you would know why I feel so bad for you. Ok, gotta go, I need some Kleenex. Shelley Oh, yeah, Golden years 👎🏼‼️
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It’s actually quite the opposite with my girls. I raised them alone. We are very close and they are comfortable talking to me about anything. The reason my youngest felt comfortable telling me this is because we both suffer anxiety and she knows what she is capable of doing to herself. We are both aware of the problems our anxiety may be causing us, but neither of us seem to be able to get past it. I absolutely appreciate your concern and can understand why my comment might’ve been horrifying. It makes me think maybe I should remove it! She would never do anything to hurt me and we are as close as a mother and daughter could be. I think she was just reminding me to look inward at how I might be causing problems for myself that I could help either on my own or possibly with care from another type of doctor. I feel so bad for you, Shelley, that you do have a child who would say horrible things to you. Being unkind to your mother is something I find intolerable. I have an older sister who treated my mother badly, and I stopped speaking to her entirely because of it. She behaved so horribly and hurt my mother during a visit over 35 years ago that I booted her out of the house right then. We haven’t spoken since. I don’t understand why so many children want to blame all of their woes on their parents (though I know there are some who deserve to be blamed!) My mother was a gem and my sister’s unhappiness was of her own doing. I’m going to guess you are probably a gem too and your daughter needs someone to blame. Now I hope I’m not speaking out of turn. I wish you all the best. In addition to everything we have going on physically, we should not feel emotionally beaten up by our own children. I KNOW you deserve better based upon the compassion I feel from you 😢❤️❤️