Hi @norram, I'm caregiver to my husband who has Alzheimer's Disease, about seven years now. He still functions pretty well, although I take care of evrything related to our care, home maintenance and finances. Aside from the Alzheimer's, his health is pretty good and he's been described as highly functioning, by some of the health professionals who have interacted with him.
He was blind in one eye from a cataract, diagnosed last August. He had surgery in November and it opened a door for him. He became much more sociable. He just had surgery last Thursday for chronic sinusitis caused by some kind of blockage and needs to have an abscessed tooth removed which has been contributing to his sinus condition. My worry about surgical procedures is that the anesthesia could make him worse, but so far, we've been lucky.
You're in a tough position, and your decision will come from your love. What is better for him overall? Would the benefits of treating the cancer improve the quality of his life or be detrimental to it? How traumatic would the treatment be for him? If the cancer is painful, can the pain be managed, if it is not treated?
I wish you the best.