I fully understand what you are saying. I just had my 4th joint replacement 7 weeks ago at age 77. It was a reverse shoulder replacement since I fell and broke my arm in two places and damaged the rotator cuff. I am doing extremely well and could not be happier, completely pain free in my new shoulder. I have also had both knees replaced and one hip. I have decided I think a lot depends on the talent of the surgeon who does your replacement. This time I got what was told to me by another of my doctors was the best shoulder surgeon in a large city and does all the complex cases. The physical therapist you have can also make a lot of difference in your recovery. Some are too aggressive with us older people. Mine has been perfect for the last two surgeries. It also helps to do your exercises everyday even when you don't have therapy. It took me a long time to be able to get into our van after my hip surgery but I kept stretching and trying and finally got in about 4 months after hip replacement. I am able to drive this time 6 weeks after shoulder replacement. Best of luck and don't forget the reduced pain and mobility are worth all the hassle of surgery.