Heart breaking to read but so normal 💔 I hear you.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 appendix cancer in 2021 at 58 and would be lucky to make 2 years.

It was a massive shock. I thought back over my life and was so glad that I had made so much of it. That helped steady me. I had been very fortunate.

But I also wanted more time and I wasn’t ready to leave everything behind. I made peace with God that while things might go badly, I knew He would be there to help me and my family bear whatever we needed to.

I was also determined to fight and give it my best shot. I got my Will etc sorted out just to get those in place if needed so I could focus on living and fighting.

Then I tapped into the Power of Now (book by Eckhart Tolle). Amazing. So powerful to live in the present and to close down fears of the future. That worrying is so draining and terrifying. Spending precious time with loved ones and making the most of that time, not wasting it. Walking in nature. Aromatherapy. Pilates. Yoga. Massages. Hobbies.

I am now 2 years in remission after a year of treatment. My cancer is not curable, will probably come back and hopefully we will deal with it. Treatments are so much better. I have slowly built a tool kit to deal with living while harnessing the fear of dying as a force to live well. The fear does come up especially on surveillance scanning days each quarter.

My goal remains to focus on living not on dying. We’re all dying, just our potential mortality date is no longer far over the horizon. Time is precious and each day is a blessing now 🙏❣️

I pray and hope you can find ways that work for you to deal with your own potential mortality 🙏🙏❣️❣️