omg reading through your comments , a deep resonance insists i respond, on the only level I have is empathy. I feel the same way the disease is enough the ' medications ' make it thrice as bad.my advice. I am in the same frame of mind, Try to push it away , I told the radiologist I was not going to miss a session. And I did not . Yeah I am stil weakened by all the crap in my case 2 years of lupron, 39 radiology sessions etc. I had a terrible radilogist but no use getting in to that. After speaking to a real professional at Mayo Clnic I felt a lot better .
Beside the point though is the fact that we were on top of our game and then it simply imploded, did for me ! What we have left . is still there , stimlate yourself a little at a time, I do not mean sexually I mean health, if you decide to return to your fitness activities no matter how unsettling or difficult , it will feel better . Even a little bit at a time will reinforce you with a feeling of control , you may not float to the top right away but as time goes on you'll come to the surface