Due to such an insightful response the last time I posted I'd like to elaborate on my life a little more since the common populace normally lacks knowledge about fosters and orphans. I feel as if this is the right place, for now. At the age of 2 I was put in foster care. Then stemming out to 24 foster homes and 7 group homes within the 16 years I was in the foster care system. Adopted by my family, then given back by own family, adopted by another family, to then be given back. Child felon, due to uncontrollable circumstances, puts me under a "Care contract" or CC. As under a CC in the foster care system you're exposed to child felons, drug dealers, pedophilia, suicidal children and teens, murders, and gangbangers. Ive seen a very ugly side of life from a young age. Ive seen death in all forms, from murder, suicide, and even accidental deaths. To make death even worse the first corpse i ever saw was my brother after being flatten by a drunk driver at age 5. Foster care was a cruel and dark place for me. You get put in special homes with strict rules. 90% of the time you are in a renovated garage with 8 bunk beds, sleeping with 15 other kids in the same room. No real structure. No chance at building true friendships or relationships. You got your back and you better watch it, or someone will take advantage of you. When I say people like me are few and far between, it's because it's true. Most of the children I grew up with are either serving time or six feet under. As sad as it is, it's the ugly truth. Fighting as hard as I can to turn my story into a success as hard as it's been. I'm just tired, my heads filled with emotional thoughts that are becoming increasingly harder to control. I don't want to hurt anyone but I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm in pain and feeling there's only one path to relief.