This is so helpful, Chris. I feel the same way. I think people distance themselves from illness and death by saying a sick person "did" something wrong. But every person on earth falls ill, and will die. It is our mutual fate, and should engender friendly compassion rather than blame! (For ourselves too). I recently had coffeee with an acquaintance--we both do some writing about breast cancer. She started fretting about how she could have gotten it. I said--it's just because we have human bodies. She surprised me by bursting into tears! I was just trying to be sensible but it turns out this lifted some burden of self-blame. Maybe our job is not to discover causes but to be kind to ourselves and others.