That was a beautiful post rhongirl. Many of us can echo your emotions and struggles.
I was diagnosed at 70 in Dec 22 with ILC which was TNBC in one breast and IDC in the other breast. We live in MI but we ended up going to Mayo and then I was to have the surgery. However I had developed a large hematoma from the needle biopsy in my hometown so the Mayo surgeon had to delay my surgery for 5 weeks because the hematoma could hide pathology after surgery. He said because I was stage 1
it would be ok to wait. I was a nervous wreck about waiting, I'm sure you can all relate. I also had 2 spinal compression fractures from osteoporosis during this time. I felt like a total mess. So we went home and I am a great believer in prayer and I was praying morning noon and night. I started reading books about positive thinking and how it affects your health. During this same time I was to lay flat on my back for 15 minutes a day to help with the spinal compression fractures. So I decided this was the perfect time to get my mind in a positive state. So I started what I call my " Optimistic Self Talk" and I still do it each and every day. I know it has helped me immensely. As I am laying down I put a 15 minute timer on my phone. I close my eyes and I start with a prayer. Then I repeat over and over for the 15 minutes, "Love, Light, Optimism, Wellness and Healing. I am staying in a remission, I am staying free of cancer anywhere in my body. I am a Survivor and I will stay a Survivor. I am well and healthy, I am just fine, all is well in my body. Thank you for my healing and healthy body. ". Then I just keep repeating that for the 15 minutes. I know it has made a big difference for me. Hopefully it can help some of you. Whenever I have a negative thought now about my health I just repeat some of my optimistic words to myself and it really helps me. Sending Love and Wellness Wishes to all of you. ❤️