Terrified over new diagnosis of breast cancer

First of all.....so great that you found this website and this group of people. Everyone here "gets it" - the concept of being drafted into a club you never wanted to join, confusion about the barage of new information, the, quickfire biopsies, surgeries, imaging, doctor appointments, tests, and the many, MANY important choices you have to make right after diagnosis, involving percentages of your long term survival. It's so frightening. And it's natural and ok to feel it - we ALL do.
One thing I'm realizing is that we are in fact human. Our bodies are not completely under our control, but a huge part of coping in this fight has to do with something we can control - our attitude and our minds. IT IS NOT EASY. I've always been the person people describe as "You're so strong! You're so positive! You have such an incredible attitude!" And actually, I normally am. (Or was, before I got the news that a microscopic monster was in my body and could rear it's ugly head at any time. But then again, it might not.) That's a brand new life experience for me.
I'm scared, and sad, and hopeful. Every day. And that's normal. People don 't really understand that until they've gone through it.
So I do my best to be agressive about keeping my mind in the right place. Meditation, exercise, yoga, and all that good stuff to be sure. But also educating myself, researching from GOOD responsible sources, stopping and making sure I take time to appreciate something simple and beautiful every. Single. Day. I'm rewiring my brain to be my useful in this fight. That includes something new: allowing myself to cry. Cry hard. Not often, but whenever I need to. (I try to do this in private.) My late Mom used to tell me that it's not only ok, but it's important to cry now and then. It gets the toxins out. I now see what she was talking about........and I always feel better!
And always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE. We're all here. Pop in whenever you need to.

And good luck on this road. It's a long one, and a tough one, but we've all got your back.

That comment is right on in every way! Perfect sentiments and advice.

Thank you!

Thank you, to you and to all the incredibly wonderful people on this site. It has meant so very much to me. I have been hearing so much information and you all are laying it out honestly with all your hard-earned experiences. I reflected on your advice as I sat on my deck this afternoon, marveling at the oak tree leaves fluttering in the breeze and listening to the birds.

I have been trying to find a bit of humor in this fight, digging deep. How's this? I figured, being right handed, my left breast is larger than the left, so a lumpectomy of the left (if that's all I need) will just even things out. Also I read that tissue can be taken from the abdomen to help reconstruct the breast. So I may get a "boob job" and a tummy tuck! What's the downside to that?

This is no joke, certainly, but I am trying to cope and I figure a bit of humor can't hurt. I am eating healthier than ever, leaning on my faith, family and friends. I am deeply grateful for this group. I just learned of another person diagnosed 1 week prior to me with BC and suggested this group to her. I have also requested a referral to another healthcare system as the care in my small town is not very good. Even people who work there say so and they should know. I don't care that it will mean a long drive for every appointment. Saving my life is worth it. My doc has said he will once the biopsy results are in.

I was anticipating my biopsy results today but they didn't arrive, so it will probably be tomorrow. I am definitely anxious about it. I am preparing a list of questions for my appointment. I have also been told how incredibly strong I am and sometimes that really hurts because it applies pressure to live up to that image, even when they don't feel like it. Having a genuine, gut-wrenching cry is cathartic. I have shed a few tears, but not to that extent. I will keep your advice in mind.

Thank you, to you and to everyone! Each and every one of you are awesome!

Hello everyone. I am feeling overwhelmed with this new news I've received. I completed my annual mammogram screening at the top of this year. I received a call from doctor stating they see some white spots (calcification) in my right breast and that they need to do a diagnostic mammogram to take a closer look. Last week I went in and completed the diagnostic mammogram. I was told by my doctor's office that they would be closed for the entire week after Fourth of July, but was thinking everything is fine so I can wait. Something in me today said to call the imaging office for results. I went up to the office to pick up a copy as they won't tell you anything over the phone. The sheet reads BIRADS Category 5. Stereotactic Biopsy recommended. Again, my doctor's office is closed so there is no one I could call and have explain further to me so I googled. With a 95% chance its cancer, I am PANICKING and stressing out which I know is not helping. I think this is worse for me as I had cervical cancer back in 2018 and have been good since then however, I am still traumatized by the experience which left me with a hysterectomy and no chance of having children of my own. Imaging will not schedule the biopsy appointment until my Dr. says so. So right now all this waiting is making matters worse. I really need someone who understands to offer words of comfort right. Besides praying and mustering up some faith, I'm in shock, feeling sad and trying my best not to go into a depression.

msthang93307
It is hard to face results when no one is there to give you the info. Not all hospitals and medical groups have the same protocols in providing results. Searching google is seldom a good thing. I have been reading from others and listening to a webinar on Breastcancer.org and heard most results come in 2 weeks from the doctor. Google can send us to unknown scary conclusions and fast. WHAT?? Having had cancer prior, did that come out well? Have you been doing well? If it is cancer, treatments have gotten very good. Many new ways to treat us. Put your fear into possible. You beat it once.
I say call the doctor again. I know 2 hospitals i go to have portals. I put my concerns and questions in there.
Then i come to places like this and read what others have written. You are not alone. More people will read your post and share their experience.
Personally, i have had breast cancer and just recently MDS and a bone marrow biopsy.

@victoryoverthis
Go ahead and have that cathartic cry. I’m not comfortable crying in front of others so I also always hear how strong I am. I had a lot of task support from friends and family when I needed it, but felt the emotional support fell short. People rush to comfort those who are sobbing not those who speak matter-of-factly about the situation and hold things in so that can be hard and feel lonely. I hope you’re better at telling people what you need than I am. Maybe you can relate to this, but I remember feeling so stressed at one point weeks into the testing and waiting phase that I wished I had someone like a dad or supportive husband to just wrap their arms tightly around me for just one hour and say, “I’m taking on all your stress and worry for the next hour” so I could just relax and put it all aside. I probably had friends and relatives that would have done that if I asked, but it would have felt really awkward for me and failed. I probably could have asked my adult son but he probably would have been texting behind my head. Haha I hope you will be better than me at asking for that emotional support because people mistakenly think being strong means being unfazed and not having any emotional needs. I’ve been in awe of some stories of women with supportive husbands throughout their journey — their rock.

@msthang93307
First, my heart broke for you to hear you say you lost your chance of bearing children. I could feel your emotional pain. I’m so sorry that happened to you.

Second, the waiting game is soooo hard. Emotionally, the unknown is the worst part. You’ll feel better once you have answers and a treatment plan, if needed. Like @katgob said, treatments have really improved. I have a couple genetic mutations for breast cancer. After feeling so stressed during all the testing and waiting, the morning of my double mastectomy I felt so relaxed because the cancer would finally be removed and the healing would begin. Ahhhh. Even though my cancer recurred in my chest wall 7 years later (4 years ago), that was removed too and I’m on targeted meds indefinitely. I’m also on indefinite treatment for a rare neuroendocrine lung cancer. There are side effects from all the meds, but I’m still enjoying life. So far, so good with both cancers.

Hang in there. I hope you get your biopsy soon. I first waited 4 weeks for mine because the radiologist was going on vacation. The nurse told me to wait for her to return because she doesn’t miss. Then the morning of my biopsy, my mother called me in a panic. She was in horrible pain (a kidney stone) and I was the only one to be with her at the hospital. I hadn’t told my family about the biopsy so I had to cancel it last minute and wait 2 more weeks. It was torture. Once I had my surgery date, I could see the light at the end of the tunnel and things improved. Hang in there.

I was in your shoes 4 months ago. My biggest piece of advice to anyone newly diagnosed or with a suspicious mammo result, is just breathe. I still have not had treatment. I met with one breast surgeon who tried to use fear to talk me in to a surgery. My second came from Mayo and they made me feel so much better. Routine mammo that showed calcifications, diagnostic mammo showed BIRADS 4 and calcifications, u/s showed nothing, TWO Stereotactic biopsies, both confirming it is indeed DCIS, a Prelude DCISion test which scored me at 9.2 and would benefitt from radiation. I am in no hurry. It is DCIS (PRE cancer) Grade 0.
I have High Grade (3) HR+ DCIS. I am having an MRI in 3 weeks to get a better look.
I have changed to a plant based diet and starting moving my body. I am reading anything I can get my hands on, Knowledge is power!
Also, you will feel an array of emotions. Let them all out. I have screamed, cried and laughed. You can be at peace one day and breaking down the next. It is ok.

This is the hardest fight you will ever fight!

I started my journey officially the last week of May. I was never “sure” what I was feeling since my boobs are dense. I had my gynecologist confirm what I “felt”. That lead to another mammogram/ultra sound/biopsy…of course each of these can take a couple of days to schedule and get the results. But the call on June 4 changed my life forever!!! But it doesn’t end there.

I still had to wait for the HER2 test result…. It was positive!

And the BRACHA test, also negative.

An MRI detected yet another spot and another biopsy. This one came back clean!

The reason I mention this is you have to keep fighting thru every test result. Good or Bad!!

It is GOOD to cry! I watched a movie recently on a flight called LIVING PROOF. I would recommend it to anyone that has/had breast cancer. I was a pile of goo! But what a great way to let it all out? A good movie!!!

There is so much you will learn and people will tell you what to try and not try. I think we are all a little different!

I found it therapeutic to go buy a few wigs while I felt good and still looked like ME! It helped them to match my hair color to a human hair wig. My daughter talked me into getting a “fun” wig for the days I felt salty!!

My team also recommended gummies for nausea, energy and sleep.! Luckily I haven’t needed them…but if I do I have them!!!

Cold capping if you have chemo, it’s worth the try!!! It might not save 100% but I will take any percentage! I also got the cold mittens/feet to help with neuropathy. Amazon and get extra ice packs for both if your hospital doesn’t provide them. An electric blanket is also a lifesaver - hospitals are always so cold!! And for me, i bought some cute comfy outfits and a new bag to take a variety of activities and snacks.

I say snacks, but show yourself some grace with food!!! I immediately set out to eat healthier… your taste buds have a mind of their own!! If it doesn’t taste good, try something else!!! It’s OK

There are so many other things I am learning. I DO NOT use Dr Google!!!! You can go down a rabbit hole so fast you will be spinning like Alice in Wonderland!!

Just trust your body, have grace with yourself, know it’s OK to sleep 20 hrs and it’s ok to walk 6 miles. You will know!!!!

Good luck with your journey and as I now say…

TITS UP!!!