Optional double mastectomy over single. What helped you to decide?

Wow you are all amazing! I wish I had found this support blog in April of last year when I was diagnosed at age 69.
I had a mammogram and ultrasound in Aug of 2022. This mammogram found no problems but it was hiding. I had been to several drs before this occult Mammo asking for an MRI. I was having excruciating pain in my left breast for several months before this mammogram. I finally got my PCP dr to order an MRI in April 2023 (8 mos after the mammogram and ultrasound found nothing)
I’m glad I was persistent!
The MRI showed a .8mm tumor in the painful left breast. HR+ stage1A no genetic brca.
I had lumpectomy surgery one year ago this month. My initial instinct to get a double mastectomy. But I didn’t listen to my feelings. I had a lumpectomy with reconstruction on both breasts. I consulted with the plastic surgeon for a b cup size with silicone implants. He was there during my lumpectomy and did the reconstruction and lift at the same time. I ended up with a size DD breasts. They are uncomfortable and I don’t like them. My surgeon will redo if I want. I think I want no implants. Why did I do this to myself?
I have a supportive husband of 51 yrs. I think I let him sway me into not have the double mastectomy.
Also my oncology surgeon suggested lumpectomy. She said I could still get breast cancer in the tissue that was left or that it might move somewhere else. This terrified me. My PCP advised me to get the mastectomy’s. I should have got third opinion.
Moral of this story is to follow your heart! I didn’t and I regret.
Would I have more mental peace now with no implants? Who knows? I pray everyday for guidance. I’m thankful to be alive! I’m trying to be happy. It’s been a struggle and I worry 24/7 that something is lurking in my breasts. God bless all of you and thank you for listening to me unload lol

I chose to have a DM. when 1st diagnosed, I was only going to take one breast, but at my pre-op appointment, my surgeon felt something more in my cancerous breast and ordered an MRI. The cancer had spread outside my milk glands, and I had growth in my other breast that didn't "look " cancerous. I changed my mind and did a DM. During surgery,
my surgeon found and removed cancer in a lymph node. I originally chose reconstruction, which failed. I developed a blood clot and had emergency surgery 36 hours after my mastectomy and 10 days later, my body rejected the expander on that side, and I had to have it removed. 3 surgeries in 12 days and 12 days in the hospital. I then decided to stay flat and love it and embrace it. I wear knitted knockers for fun sometimes. I'm so happy I made the decision I did. I'd do it all over again.

I turned 60 a week after my surgery and am just over 2 years surviving. Yay! I'm thrilled every moment I'm on my feet and living life.

I had single dx of breast cancer and choose to do a dbl mastectomy, it was the best decision for me, and really the surgery was not bad at all. I would do it again. I chose this way because I have two friends that had a single mastectomy and one had a lumpectomy and both friends had the cancer returned.

I’m just remembering what the female radiologist who did my breast biopsy said. She was probably in her 50s. She worked in the breast center so lots of experience with breast cancer patients. I didn’t even know yet about my BRCA mutation. I asked her what she would do if she had breast cancer. She had obviously given it a lot of thought and said without hesitation, “If I found out I had any stage of breast cancer, I would go straight to a double mastectomy. Why fool around with it? I just want to be around for my family. But that’s just me.”

I also remember what the lady who fitted me for my breast prostheses said. She said I made the right decision with a double mastectomy because most of her clients who had a single complain the prosthetic breast and the real one never match and it shows through clothes. Most wish they had had a DM just for symmetry. My cousin who had a single mastectomy told me she was frustrated with that issue and advised me not to have a single plus her reconstruction had complications and was a fail. There are likely some women happy with a SM as well. I had a colleague who had an DM in her 30s and her reconstruction had complications and failed. I have another friend who had a DM in her 30s and said her reconstruction was a breeze and she’s glad she had it. She’s 70 now and doing great. If you consider reconstruction, ask women for their experience with that as well. Ask the surgeon about possible complications and the success rate.

I have a similar issue with not being totally flat. A little elevation here, a dip there and way too much tissue that fell to the sides is my biggest complaint. My surgeon kept pushing for reconstruction and told me excess side tissue I’d heard about post mastectomy gets pulled right back out with the reconstruction. I feel like she saved extra tissue so I could change my mind about reconstruction. I made it clear up front that due to hereditary neuropathy and keloid scarring issues I did not want reconstruction. Ask the surgeon about extra tissue and what flat really looks like. Also ask about the size of the incision. My incisions are upside down Ts and all the photos I’ve seen online are just one line straight across each breast. I did get keloid scars so that was too much incision in my opinion. The excess side tissue actually causes me to wear one size larger top.

Thank you for that yes there are some health concerns and I didn’t know it could be done separately

The only other issue about my DM is that because they performed sentinel lymph node as part of DM I also have small a dip in my underarm. This may not sound like such a big deal, but it's kind of hard to shave your underarms and parts of my underarm area is slightly numb which causes me concern - so I don't use a blade razor, I use an electric razor which because of the dips is sometimes a little hard to shave. But that is a minor issue compared to the peace of mind I have knowing there is minimal chance of getting recurrence in second breast.

Just want to say again that the second mastectomy can be done months later. We have a right to symmetry.

I love going flat. I don't have a partner and in some ways that made things easier!

I had 3 nodes out and the dip is not something i expected. It is one of those things that I was never told about, they were not cancerous.