I was in a dark place, thankfully I'm still here.

Posted by change25 @change25, Jun 27 11:42am

It all became too much, after a long battle trying to get answers and not getting anywhere my mind went to a place it had not been before. I did feel thirsty at the time but I do think there was a conscious effort to harm myself. I consumed 4 and a half litres of water in 40 minutes. This was in the morning and by 5pm on the night I had a seizure and was rushed to hospital in an ambulance. I spent a week in intensive care. I don't recall much of it due to sedation. I suffered from cerebral edema and high white blood count. Thankfully all of which were corrected by the medical staff. It's taken a while to get back to health. I'm sorry for the delayed update to anyone who was concerned. I did receive some mental health support along with medication. The best of which I now have a genetic consultation booked for August. Thank you for your support as always, it's much appreciated.

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Just Want to Talk Support Group.

@change25

Yes, it helped to relieve some of my mental anguish, thank you. My biggest issue currently is even with antidepressants and sleeping pills I can't manage to sleep. I've had roughly 4 hours of sleep over the past 4 days.

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@change25 I'm glad that your writing helped. Don't stop! And as for not getting sleep, I know from my own experience how difficult it can be to get your mind to shut down enough to rest. Your body is crying for time to recuperate and recharge, right? But your mind is spinning off in all kinds of directions.

Let me give you insight to what has helped me. It might not be what works for you, but try a few. First, make sure you are eating healthy. Before you lay down, wash your face, brush your teeth, vacate bladder and bowels. Establish that routine everyday, almost like a signal that now you are going to rest. If things are weighing heavily on your mind, write them down, and tell yourself you will look at the list tomorrow, and try to "let it go" for tonight. The more you can empty from your mind, the better chance to relax. And realize some days it will work, other days it won't. When you do lay down, give yourself permission to get comfortable, whatever that means to you. I have used almost a self-hypnosis, telling myself it is now time to rest, to restore myself. That I will be more my best self when I can get rest/sleep. Deep breathing techniques. Some people focus on different muscles groups, tensing and relaxing them [all that did for me was give me cramps LOL]. If I can manage 2 or 3 hours at a time, it's a win. And I am not opposed to day time naps if needed.

I send good thoughts and hope you are doing better.
Ginger

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All great comments especially "That I will be more my best self when I can get rest/sleep" because I Also keep paper and pen handy to note down what I feel is imprtant to do next day -- it has worked Every time. Why not? It IS the right way as opposed to fretting and losing sleep and getting up tired and foggy, Unable to do what I know I need to be done well.

Also commented here is keeping Physical health in order. Wholesome fresh food, including physical exertion. Often when I feel it's time to eat and no time for exertion, I do ten dips in the stairwell, or in place fast running for 2 mins.

When there is intention, action appears!

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@gingerw

@change25 I'm glad that your writing helped. Don't stop! And as for not getting sleep, I know from my own experience how difficult it can be to get your mind to shut down enough to rest. Your body is crying for time to recuperate and recharge, right? But your mind is spinning off in all kinds of directions.

Let me give you insight to what has helped me. It might not be what works for you, but try a few. First, make sure you are eating healthy. Before you lay down, wash your face, brush your teeth, vacate bladder and bowels. Establish that routine everyday, almost like a signal that now you are going to rest. If things are weighing heavily on your mind, write them down, and tell yourself you will look at the list tomorrow, and try to "let it go" for tonight. The more you can empty from your mind, the better chance to relax. And realize some days it will work, other days it won't. When you do lay down, give yourself permission to get comfortable, whatever that means to you. I have used almost a self-hypnosis, telling myself it is now time to rest, to restore myself. That I will be more my best self when I can get rest/sleep. Deep breathing techniques. Some people focus on different muscles groups, tensing and relaxing them [all that did for me was give me cramps LOL]. If I can manage 2 or 3 hours at a time, it's a win. And I am not opposed to day time naps if needed.

I send good thoughts and hope you are doing better.
Ginger

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Thank you once again, I managed a few more hours with your suggestions.

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@sisyphus

All great comments especially "That I will be more my best self when I can get rest/sleep" because I Also keep paper and pen handy to note down what I feel is imprtant to do next day -- it has worked Every time. Why not? It IS the right way as opposed to fretting and losing sleep and getting up tired and foggy, Unable to do what I know I need to be done well.

Also commented here is keeping Physical health in order. Wholesome fresh food, including physical exertion. Often when I feel it's time to eat and no time for exertion, I do ten dips in the stairwell, or in place fast running for 2 mins.

When there is intention, action appears!

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Much appreciated, I do need to be more proactive - it's just difficult at the moment.

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Hey everyone, I've managed to get the pain under control with a good concoction of pills. However, I can't seem to accept the facial changes. I've had talking therapy, crisis team and antidepressants but nothing works. I can't switch off, I have an overwhelming sense to kill myself, I don't know what to do.

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@change25

Hey everyone, I've managed to get the pain under control with a good concoction of pills. However, I can't seem to accept the facial changes. I've had talking therapy, crisis team and antidepressants but nothing works. I can't switch off, I have an overwhelming sense to kill myself, I don't know what to do.

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change25, God loves you. You are valuable. Your parents love and need you. This world needs you. You sound like such a kind individual. Do you have a Pastor you can call? The crisis line is 988 if you need to talk to someone.

You've come a long way. Please focus on getting better & better.

People on here care about you. Please keep us posted often.

Praying fiercely for you right now.

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I'm feeling better now. The maxillofacial surgeon who I was initially disappointed with has got back in touch after reviewing my CT scans. He's identified changes in bone structure and density so is sending me for further tests. Finally some acknowledgement

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@change25

I'm feeling better now. The maxillofacial surgeon who I was initially disappointed with has got back in touch after reviewing my CT scans. He's identified changes in bone structure and density so is sending me for further tests. Finally some acknowledgement

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This is an answer to prayer. I'm excited for you. Praying you get some much needed answers and great benefits from this doctor. Blessings & Prayers.....

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@covidstinks2023

This is an answer to prayer. I'm excited for you. Praying you get some much needed answers and great benefits from this doctor. Blessings & Prayers.....

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Thank you for your prayers. Even in the darkest of moments light can always be found.

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@change25

Thank you for your prayers. Even in the darkest of moments light can always be found.

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@change25 Edward, haven't heard from you in a week. How are you doing? We’ve had very high temps, something unknown in Colorado. About 101 degrees, today! Hope all is well. Do you think these new doctor appointments will give you some answers and a new look on life?

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