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Terrified over new diagnosis of breast cancer
Breast Cancer | Last Active: Jul 19 8:01pm | Replies (38)Comment receiving replies
Everyone stands before their dx differently. I'm a more information is better type of person. So I read a lot about BC and the different types before I know what type I had, then as dx was narrowed from BC to TNBC BRCA2+, I was able to weed out all the other information I had previously read that I no longer needed to worry about. Then I was able to focus my attention on my specific dx.
I was able to work throughout my entire treatment process. For chemo, I didn't really loose my hair but it got real thin and tangled (curly hair) so I had my head shaved. Thankfully it was winter so caps were a great coverup (also I knit, so I made some cute hats to wear). Bilateral mastectomy was the only time I missed any work. I was fortunate to schedule all my appointments either real early in the morning or late in the day. I had been employed at the same place for over 15 yrs so I had a lot of good will built with my employer so I was able to flex my hours if I needed - it was also during Covid so I was working from home.
I too kept a journal of everyone I talked to and all my questions and the answers I was given. If they gave an answer I wasn't sure of I said "so you mean this" and restated in my own words. I still take my notebook with me to see my oncologist for my semi annual visits. I'm just 1yr+ into NED (no evidence of disease). For some appointments, not all, I had someone else attend with me - so there was a second set of ears to hear information; because once you hear "cancer" sometimes the brain stops listening to anything after that.
Attitude is another thing that helped me a lot during my journey. With all the medical advances and information out there (I stayed with reputable websites for my information), I always looked at my dx as a medical condition where a treatment existed. I needed to decide for myself how I was going to face each treatment and arm myself before treatment by knowing all the possible side effects and what I might be able to do to minimize those side effects before hand.
There will be good days and bad days this is a safe place for you to express your frustration, anxiety, blessings and ask advice or suggestions from people that have walked a similar path and know some of the potholes you might need to navigate. You know yourself, you must now advocate for yourself and you will find a way to navigate this - ask for help when you need it.
Replies to "Everyone stands before their dx differently. I'm a more information is better type of person. So..."
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bpknitter53,
I am definitely gaining reassurance from all the great people (not assuming all are female!) who have responded to me. I am especially singling you out as I am also a knitter, so that caught my attention. Ironically, I have sewn hats years ago to donate to a charitable organization that provided wigs and hats to women undergoing chemotherapy. I have also knit or crocheted several prayer shawls for others. I live in snow country, so have a pretty good collection of hats, but this will provide me justification to make a few more - as if I ever needed an excuse to knit. I have been knitting a lot lately as it provides solace. My sweater is growing quickly. Anytime you want to talk knitting, I am up for it, but obviously needs to be separate from this support group.
I am starting a healthcare file and notebook. That is great advice. My biopsy f/u appointment was scheduled for 7/11 and the doc had a family emergency so switched it to 7/19. I impressed upon the scheduler that it is imperative I get in asap, so get me in if there is a cancellation that opens up an earlier appointment. The breast care nurse will call me to go over the results, assuming it is positive, once the report is completed.
It is good to know you worked through your treatment. I am single and have to work. I have been with my employer for almost 10 years. I am also just transitioning back to a position I held in the past, so it is like going home. I am leaving an extremely high stress job, so that is good. I had decided the money just wasn't worth the stress. I was already in the process of switching when this BC showed up. I worked from home and now will not be, but I won't have to travel for work either which is great.
Stress is a theme in my life! I am the primary caregiver for my 86 year old father. He seems to think he is going to take care of me - ha! He is pretty independent, no dementia, but I still do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. and he is not currently able to drive. We are looking into getting a personal care attendant in twice a week to help with his needs and some light housework. I need the help. I have made it clear that I need to be a bit selfish now and focus on what I need.
This is longer than I intended. I greatly appreciate you and all the wonderful people who have taken the time to respond with individual experiences and guidance. Hugs to one and all!