I am at the five-year mark post mastectomy, right side only, hormone positive both ER plus and PR plus, Lymphedema and right upper extremity that required a VLNT surgery, A failed DEP flap surgery, ultimately resulted in my chest, bursting open on the drive from Ohio to Florida and another surgery to quilt my chest shut. In addition to that, I am one of those rare people who have what is called anesthesia, awareness, and other words for me, mild sedation never works. I found out when I had my first colonoscopy done in my 50s. That doctor told me mild sedation doesn’t work for you, you are awake and you need to let everyone know that so you can be given sufficient sedation. I have told every surgeon and surgical team. Didn’t matter for the major surgeries because I get knocked out for those
And so far, the anesthesia awareness has not occurred for general anesthesia. But I have had three total, two following my breast, cancer, diagnosis, episodes, where I was aware during procedures. The worst was the implantation of my port. Somewhere around the five-year mark it occurred to me, that I was really really struggling emotionally with everything. Breast cancer, lymphedema, anesthesia, awareness, recurrence, add onto that every other issue that occurs as we get older. What I learned is that I have a significant PTSD condition probably have had some degree of it for a long time, but the cancer diagnosis, the complications, that occurred over the past five years, and the general process of aging and worry about recurrence add to that dynamic. So I saw specific therapy for PTSD with a psychologist in the winter. That was tremendously helpful, I stopped thinking and feeling like I should be able to fix this or it’s just go away. Neither one of those things is ever going to happen. Over the course of about two months and working with a psychologist, I was able to verbalize and re-verbalize, all of the stressors in my life, and for any of us with the cancer diagnosis, even if it’s not complicated by other issues, the cancer part of it is truly a trauma. I found it by revisiting it,, discussing it in a safe place help me diffuse , some of my reactivity. I still worry greatly about future procedures that will require mild sedation, generally, but I also feel greatly empowered and insisting that I have a face-to-face meeting days before the procedure, with the head of anesthesia and whatever hospital the procedure Will be completed and a firm plan and how anesthesia will be administered and monitored. Well, it is a low incidence condition, one to two people per every thousand, the anesthesia awareness in one years time happens to 30,000 people. That’s a low number, but that’s the amount of people that fill a small footballer baseball stadium and that’s a lot of people. so my thinking is that any and all of us who feel stressed at any point during our journey before during or after cancer to seriously consider the trauma component of the procedure, even when our outcomes are good. We’ve been through a lot and the future is always uncertain. I was very pleasantly surprised at how effective working with the psychologist from the PTSD and trauma angle really really helped me. It was well beyond a general counseling session with a social worker. I think it requires a higher skill set. Just my humble opinion.