@environmom, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles with your mother. My wife and I debate about which role is harder: having Stage IV lung cancer (me) or living with someone who has Stage IV lung cancer (her). Being the caregiver is definitely a challenging role.

I'm always advocating for going with an older person when they go to the doctor. I did it with my parents and insisted my brothers did the same when I was out of town. Let her doctor(s) know about her anger issue and ask that they interact with her before turning to you and asking if you have any questions. That way, it's not you that's initiating the exchange. Let your mother know how hard this is for you and that you just want to be sure she's getting the best treatment.

I'm not that kind of doctor, so I can't address your medical questions. That's for the professionals to decide. When was her last CT or PET scan? Blood test? Is she being tested regularly? Lastly, have you gotten a second opinion? Even if you like her current doctor, he or she will fully support getting a second opinion.

I wish the best for you and your mom. There is a lot of support in this group, so keep letting us know how things are going.