tbh its been VERY difficult for me. He's spent the last couple of weeks since coming home going through his stuff, giving items away, donating things, selling others, and with each little bit he disposes of in some way its like watching a piece of him fade away...it was like he said when he got rid of his survival and combat gear "its like a huge piece of my life is gone".. earlier this week we went to the army/navy surplus store and sold off all his camo that he had worn over the years... he kept one set that was the closest to fitting him..... then last night he was really down... we had went yesterday and donated all his old prosthetic stuff to the clinic that made his prosthetics so they could break them down into the various components to use in making new ones for people without any insurance...ie the pylons, ankle joints, foot plates, etc... its just really hurting me seeing him trying to hold up and be strong for my sake when all i want to do is cry...of course i know PART of my emotions is results of my own cancer journey but it just hurts seeing him so depressed...he tries to be strong but its hard...and tbh idk how in the world he's doing it...i know i couldn't and now he's started on listing all his reenactment gear for sale...he said earlier today its just so hard watching all this he's invested in the hobby just walking out the door so to speak... he said it sucks to die slowly he's just rather have had a bullet take him suddenly or something but i'm sure thats the soldier in him...at 52, he's the last of his 8 man QRF team...and i know that eats at him too...but anyways...yea i'm not coping very well at all...i understand WHY he chose to do it, but dang it i don't have to like it...i just have to respect it...