I am 1 year out from my DM. I was petrified at thought of needing chemo. We celebrated when my oncotype came back that I didn't need it. As of right now however, PART of wishes I did get chemo. I deeply fear recurrence but if I had chemo I think my mind would be a bit more at ease. I have not communicated this to my family. I was so against it from the beginning they would think I've lost my mind to say part of me now wishes I got it.
But if I get a reccurence and have to have I know I will be ok, even though my hair is the only thing I like about my looks. I would for sure get a wig, and I know I woyld be ok because I made it through DM and ovary removal surgeries. When I talk to people who had chemo I have a guilt feeling that I didn't have to have it .
I understand your fears!
Please believe that either way, you will be fine.
As far as communicating to children, we told our son the day I got the results. After I asked him how he felt about us telling him and not waiting for " a better time?" Or keep anything from him for his protection. He said most definitely he was glad we told him right away and gave him all the info. We offered him to come to any appointments but we wouldn't ask him. We would just tell him when I had an apt and he could let us know if he wanted to come. He came to 2 apts and was with us when I had the DM. He was in high school and just turned 17 when I was diagnosed. May God grant you peace about your worries!