Since narcissists continually seek validation from their external environment, they may try to drag out a heated debate longer than they need to just for the enjoyment of feeling superior. Put a hard stop to this by timing the conversation. You can even set a timer on your phone and walk away as soon as five minutes are up.
21. “I know how I feel.”
The narcissist will try to gaslight you into thinking that your thoughts and emotions aren’t valid. Instead, back up your side of the argument by saying, “I know how I feel.”
22. “People misunderstanding my boundaries is not my responsibility.”
Mahler says that a person with NPD may purposefully break boundaries to gain a sense of power over another person. Don’t allow them to do this. It’s not your fault that the narcissist misunderstands or even disrespects your boundaries, and you can remind them of that.
23. “I am okay with people misunderstanding me.”
The narcissist is trying to get a rise out of you. Instead, you can shrug your shoulders and plainly say, “I am okay with people misunderstanding me.” Let them know that you’re good with who you are and don’t put stock in others’ opinions, especially if they’re coming from a narcissist.
24. “I am convicted in my truth about the situation.”
Stick to your guns and stand by everything you’ve said during the conversation.
25. “I am aware that we don’t share the same opinion.”
Not everyone has to share the same opinion, but this is a hard truth for a narcissist to swallow. Since they have low self-worth and derive their sense of value from external sources, as Mahler says, they want everyone to think the same things as them. Remind the person that there’s no reason for you both to have to share the same opinion.
26. “I will not entertain this conversation.”
Scigliano says that narcissists will use tactics that enable them to push away anyone they perceive as a threat, and this threat can come out as nasty comments during an exchange. Let them know that they won’t have this power over you and say, “I will not entertain this conversation.”
27. “I know what happened. You are allowed to have a different understanding of the event.”
Again, you may not both agree, and that’s fine.
28. “Okay.”
Mahler calls this approach the “Grey Rock Method,” which is not giving an emotional response at all or giving them as little a response as possible. Every time they say something, you could just say, “Okay.” They won’t know how to respond because they want to see you react.
29. “Hmm.”