I am right there with you, four years later. I am a fraction of who I was before. Meanwhile, everyone else has moved on. I look "fine," but I'm not. Sometimes I think it would have been easier not to have survived to begin with, which I almost didn't. At least my son still has a mother, but life is a constant struggle, especially still having to work full-time, as I can't afford not to and lose insurance. You are not alone in your struggle. Hang in there as best you can. Hopefully one day we will feel better.