You are dealing with a lot of unpleasant issues that aren’t easy to remedy. For the tenesmus (constant urge to have BM), there are meds that can help, both oral and rectal suppositories. If inflammation is irritating the rectal nerves, a steroid suppository can help. Meds used for overactive bladder can help an overactive rectum. Anticholinergic drugs relax the smooth muscle in GI tract, like those used for irritable bowel syndrome. If you have only seen general GI Drs, I would recommend a rectal specialist for the tenesmus and lax sphincter. There are surgical procedures that can tighten up the rectal sphincter if fecal soiling or incontinence is occurring. A rectal specialist can help you if the Kiegel exercises are not working. Keeping the stool on the firm side helps prevent incontinence but this is a delicate balance to juggle. There are extra long panty liners that cover front and back. You can get them on Amazon. I sure hope you can get some relief! You have been through so much…