Unfortunately, doctors aren't going to give you all the answers you are seeking, if there was a mishap. They will protect themselves and their associates. I went through something similar, with an anesthesia event. I naively thought they would sympathize, and answer all my questions. Instead, the surgeon, nurses, social worker, and patient relations representative, gaslighted me completely. You are never going to know the answers to your questions from them. It sounds as if you might have been damaged, unlike me. You need to see an outside doctor, that is not within that community. Maybe out of state. And consult a lawyer.