when I have physical reactions to a medication I go directly to my doctors. I deliberately go to a practice that has more than one doctor working. So I do not have to waite if I need an appointment. its good that you are constantly thinking about your actions and its effect both on you and others. If not already while taking your meds it would help to have a therapist that you can see weekly. So that your reactions to either the meds you are taking or need others can be address ASAP. Look in your area for clinics that have counselors Psychologist (Ph.D) Or Clinical Social Workers. And of course stay in this chat so you can hear from others and others can hear from you. It helps