I, too am in a similar situation as you are with my husband. Our days sound similar. I am also my 90 year old mother’s caregiver and spend a lot of time taking her where she needs to go. My children are also busy with work and their children. Most days run pretty smoothly, but there are those that don’t. The days when he can’t find a thing that he had in his hand five minutes before…give him enough time to think about it and he usually finds it. It might take an hour or a day or two. He gets frustrated, but we try to laugh about it. Like your husband, mine is still driving and is in fact a very good driver. He only drives around our city. He is fine in familiar areas. Our family doctor says he should quit, our neurologist says as long as I think he is capable then he should be fine. He told me I am the best one to know when he should quit as I am the one with him all the time. My husband is not ready to quit yet, but he has agreed to let me make the determination when it is time.
Like you, I too get tired of looking for things, explaining things over and over, having to handle all telephone communications, finances, but it is what it is. His problem seems to be more in communication, finding the right words to express his thoughts and of course short term memory. He works hard around the house and in the yards and is still very capable of keeping up our property which includes bush hogging on a tractor. We don’t watch much TV anymore as he just doesn’t seem interested, but he does enjoy watching videos on his phone every night. I do miss conversations that cover anything new or regarding future plans. His mind just doesn’t go there. He’s is great with the past and I try to help him stay on top of the present. Sometimes I do feel discouraged. He’s only 68 and we have been on this journey for a couple of years now. We had plans for travel and rving that we have had to let go. We will work around it. We are going on an Alaskan cruise with our daughter this summer something he has always wanted to do, but he never talks about it and is not involved in the planning because it’s in the future and he hasn’t gotten there yet. As frustrating as this whole thing is we both signed up for better or worse 43 years ago and I know if the roles were reversed he would be here for me so between my husband and mother’s care I just push on leaning heavily on my faith when I am weary and discouraged and I read a lot of books. I do have days when I get mad at the whole situation, I am human. I just wanted you to know you are not alone. There are a lot of us spouses dealing with this. There’s not a lot of support groups to help so I am thankful for Mayo Connect as it has helped me in many ways even more so than the doctors have. They treat the diagnosis the best they can, but we are the ones our loved are counting on to help them make it through each and everyday life. I hope it helps you to know we are all in this together. ❤️