Hi to rjchambliss5 and others to which this might apply. At first, it went against every lesson my Mother, teachers, and the church taught, but I have become one of the sneakiest people in the universe. We live in an area where energy outages are common. Six years ago, we put in a Generac system when I was a kid of 81. Three outages the previous year were enough clues that I never again wanted to empty and discard another fortune in food. I informed my husband in such a way that he could not refuse an exploratory talk with the contractor. Because my boy, was such a capable person before dementia, he fooled the contractor into thinking he understood everything discussed. However, it took many private conversations behind my husband's back and several extra phone calls between a very patient contractor and us to clarify the confusion. That is when I realized that talking to a guy and not the wife carried more authority. Somehow, he feels more engaged and less threatened that I am trying to take over his job. Also, I have learned not to discuss anything dealing with electricity or ladders with my husband before the workman shows up with tools in hand. It is rough dealing with the bombastic phase when home repairs are concerned. I still tremble when my husband wanders to the fuse box. A few weeks ago, when he did, he asked for a flashlight, I simply lied and said I didn't know where one was. He grumbled for a while, but then his interest turned elsewhere. Fireworks between us were reserved for when there were over-drafts and unpaid bills. After spending three months of uncountable calculations along with many phone calls to multiple banks to consolidate our finances for ease, my boy became angry that I had taken over the job. Normally, I am even keel (as he is). But, all that work flashed before me, and I raised my voice and yelled, NO, YOU WILL NOT, I CAN'T GO THROUGH THAT AGAIN! I'm not recommending anger, but I think I scared us both, and repetitive explanations about banking have ceased. Dementia is no joking matter, but I know that humor helps me keep mostly in a sane state. Take the breather necessary. You will know when you are strong enough to get back into the game. GloRo