Happy Sunday! We have been invited to a BBQ at my husband's son's house, and I don't want to go because I am exhausted, but we will. I think somewhere in the caregiver manual is the suggestion to stay engaged. (That is me being sarcastic.) In her post, Jeanadair123 asked for more specific suggestions. Until I saw for myself that my husband no longer understood the working end of an electric drill, I would have said impossible. But, it was definitely a signal not to involve him in projects. To avoid circular conversations and the possibility of injuries, I have gone directly to the handyman when tools are involved. I think part of the dilemma when dealing with someone who is diminished cognitively is that we are reticent to take charge. Firstly, who wants all that responsibility, and secondly, it goes against ingrained rules. But, as caregivers we are the ones who must step up to the plate. It is hard to be specific since the relationships established before dementia are all different and how someone will react is not predictable and ever-changing. The one true thing is if you think something is a problem, it is a problem, and you must figure out a solution. Along with dementia, my husband has a colostomy. If you think you have few people willing to talk about dementia, I can assure you that no one wants to talk about a colostomy. I am grateful my dear boy still rinses out his colostomy bag between a change which is my job. However, as his dementia worsens and his eyesight diminishes, he is not aware that he creates a great deal of work for me. What I mean by thinking a head, specifically for this situation unique for us, is that there are Lysol wipes in every bathroom. And, even though my back no longer allows me to bend and I cannot use a mop, I make sure there is a clean hand towel-size rag ready in those bathrooms. I dampen the rag, toss it on the floor, step on it, and drag it over the mishaps several times a day. It keeps our home from becoming a petri dish culturing new types of diseases between weekly cleanings from the young woman who does what I can no longer do. That young woman's efforts are also part of the plan to remain independent. While dealing with health issues for two, I could not take care of my husband without the cleaner, the lawn and snow removal people, the handymen, the window washers, etc, etc, etc. Still, this afternoon before that BBQ, using my walker to get to the lawn, I am going to do some weeding. I found a nifty tool on Amazon that does not require you to bend and has an ejector feature. It will not be pretty. My back will hurt. But even if it is only half an hour, there will be fewer weeds. GloRo