Good Morning. I just read this string of posts and felt I could have been the author of them all. At 86, I am the caregiver to my 94-year-old husband. By now others on these forums might recognize me by that descriptor. Somehow dementia distillates us down to those bare essentials, but we have been and continue to be so much more. It has turned out that the long battles with many, many health issues for us both were training sessions for dementia. I have always been a strong proponent of being proactive with health care, and I am sure there are a few doctors who think I am a bossy woman. But, I am not interested in a Miss Congeniality award, I want information that will help me do my job. Before doctor appointments, make sure you have done your part. Be informed by reading, using forums such as this, and researching for a layman's understanding of those mysterious medical terms that are being tossed at you. If you don't understand something, speak up, and write things down. Then, after doing all your homework, you will come up against the hardest fact of all. Dementia is a mystery medicine has yet to solve. -- As the caregiver you will be the one who best understands what your loved one has lost on becoming their new selves. To be effective, call on those same skills that allowed you to run a well-functioning household, keep a difficult job or be an entrepreneur. Think ahead and put into place systems that will make your lives easier and safer before they are needed. Trust me you will need the extra time saved by such efficiencies. We get Meals-on-Wheels. If our community did not provide such a wonderful service, our freezer would be stocked with frozen dinners. As our loved ones are called on daily to tackle a new reality, we cannot afford to hang onto old ways of doing things. Survival means invention and then reinvention. -- When I started posting on this forum, it was easy to think of myself as a lone warrior, and, although the altruistic side of myself wishes that was true, I take comfort from knowing there are such caring people who give everything they have to those they love. I have come to rely on your posts as another stratagem against this foe, who we wish did not exist. GloRo