I’m the same way as you about asking for help. I’m probably what you’d call fiercely independent. But now that cancer has caused issues, especially a with significant fatigue and pain from an incisional hernia resulting from my cancer surgery, I’m realizing what a bad trait that is.

I’m a gardener and my garden is a mess of weeds. A friend offered to help me weed and I’m going “No, no. I can do it.” and thinking how stupid it is to not say, “Yes! Thank you so much!” I’ve been realizing because of the impacts of cancer and its treatments how not being able to ask for help, accept help, etc. is a big problem for me and something I really need to work on. So I’m going to call my friend and say, “Yes! I’d love help!”

Anyway, I’ve decided that I’m really going to work on my not being able to ask for help issue. Because asking for help would be a lot of help now. We’ll see how it goes.

@mommacandy Oh, I'm like you about asking for help from anyone however I've learned some ways to show compassion for myself over the years.

If I'm tired when I'm at home I'll lie down and read or take a nap. To me that's pampering instead of believing I'm supposed to busy, busy all the time. Taking a bath with nice bath salts or bubble bath. Getting a pedicure which is something I've done more often. Talking on the phone or FaceTiming a friend and talking as long as we both feel like it. Watching a movie or program that I like on streaming instead of whatever my husband wants to watch while I basically tell him (not in these words) to buzz off and find something else to do!

Do any of these appeal to you? Pampering to me means doing what YOU want to do while you heal to take care of yourself.