Good morning, @mary612 and @jrwilli1 You are both such rays of sunshine and compassionate caregivers for your husbands on this odyssey, as I call the entire transplant adventure. An odyssey is a long, adventurous journey with various challenges and obstacles to overcome. Can’t think of a better term for a BMT! ☺️

Mary, you’re hoping that someday you’ll be able to write encouraging notes to people about to embark on this arduous journey. You’re already helping now. By coming to the forum, asking questions and expressing your concerns you’ve opened up discussions that people all over the world are being able to read. Many won’t reply and you’ll never know how many people your replies will impact. @jrwill1 has been on the same path but now a year+ down the trail. So she is able reach out with life-lines to others who are concerned about what lies ahead. We are the village, a global village, of people taking care of each other even though we’ll most likely never physically cross paths.

Years ago, when I bought a wig (which I never wore…I loved my ‘bad-a**’ look without hair)…anyway, inside the box was a magnet for my refrigerator! Still have it up!
It says:
“One day, you will tell your story about how you overcame what you through and it will become someone else’s survival guide.”

That really resonated with me because most of the time, when we’re ill, we’re just trying to get through one day at a time. We don’t focus on what our story might mean for someone else! And wow, what a gift to be alive to tell it!
I’ve always been a very private person, even during my chemo for AML, I only told a few relatives and a couple close friends. Even the transplant was a rather quiet event. It wasn’t until I was online looking for information of my own that I came across Mayo Connect. I just happened to answer a question for someone who wanted to know if anyone had a BMT for AML and survived. I couldn’t resist answering! That was the ah-ha moment for me when I realized my story could become a survival guide for someone else.

Hi Mary, How long will your husband actually be in the hospital after transplant? I had transplant at Mayo-Rochester. BMT patients are Out-patients so my confinement in the hospital room was minimal.
However, while I was in my local hospital for 5 weeks the first time being treated for AML, I kept busy with my iPad, watching movies, binged series, reading, writing, listening to music. Pretty mindless activities because my concentration was lacking. My husband brought my small watercolor kit & paper so that kept me busy making little entries for a journal or painting cards. Recovery at Mayo after the BMT (in my hotel suite) was similar. (At Mayo we’re outpatients and recover in off-site lodging)

The first few weeks after BMT are tiresome. Your husband won’t have a lot of energy and fatigue may be his friend for a while. So he may not be up for much. For amusement while being confined, little things like puzzles, adult coloring books, Zen-doodle, jig-saw puzzles, crossword/sudoku, take an iPad, laptop or tablet, (Don’t forget a small extension cord for the hospital room)
For you as the caregiver, do you have any small craft/art hobbies that you can bring with you in kit form? For my return to the hospital for chemo every 28 days, I was admitted for a week. So while home on break, I’d package up little kits of whatever I wanted to work on while confined with small sewing projects, art work, etc.

During transplant when we were away from home for 4 months, my husband kept busy daily walking the trail system in Rochester, discovering cultural centers and museums. He did all the cooking. so he’d have snacks ready for me when I felt like eating. He’d set up a small office furnished with his laptop, stamps, envelopes, paper, scissors, tape, etc., in one of the bedrooms where he could keep up with bill paying and correspondence. He’d grocery shop, do the laundry…wow, I had it made. LOL. Anyway, for him as the caregiver he said he was never bored. And oddly, once I got past the critical first couple of weeks, the rest was just an adventure for both of us.

One little thought…were you thinking of spending all day in the hospital with your husband? My husband wanted to do that initially too. He felt that he needed to be there for some reason. We’d been married 45 years at that time and he NEVER felt the need to sit with me 24/7 during any of those 45 years…maybe the beginning when we were just starting out together. But that was hormone driven. 😅. Now at 65, it was so sweet of him to want to keep me company but I quite honestly I just really wanted to be alone most of the time so that I could sleep!!!
Pulling on white gloves of diplomacy, befitting a government negotiator so as not to hurt his feelings, we came to a peace accord with abbreviated visitations. It was better for both of us! Just a thought…
How’s your packing coming along? Did you find a caregiver for your dog? That must be pretty heart wrenching for you!