First, I am so sorry for the lose of your daughter. Second, family genetics is at play here. Your daughter's son certainly has the gene for mental health issues. It is very common to see... especially depression, bipolar disease and anxiety passed down through generations & even through the extended blood-line family. But in your case your daughter was adopted. You don't say the dose of Zoloft your grandson is on but 300 mg. daily is the top dose, perhaps he needs an increase. Also, Zoloft is not really used for OCD. Luvox is the drug of choice for OCD, perhaps that can help him but not always effective. OCD is very tough to manage and very hard to become free of. Is he in therapy? If not, that might be helpful. The challenge will be getting him to go. Is he seeing a psychiatrist? A primary care provider is not the best choice to handle mental health issues especially one as serious as OCD. Not only does your grandson have issues but you & your husband as well in trying to cope with him. So hard to do. I would suggest contacting your local NAMI organization which helps the family and friends of those who have love ones with mental health disorders. You and your husband need support here...in addition to your grandson. If he doesn't want to leave the house, there is also tele-medicine on the computer in which he can have sessions with a therapist. But the first visit must be in person. I more than hear you & understand. My son also has OCD and it is truly awful. Luvox did not work for him...also on an antidepressant and Adderal for ADD. He is under the care of a psychiatrist and therapist. But as I said, OCD is very hard to crack. I don't know where you live but McLean Hospital in Boston has an OCD clinic but that's inpatient for 30-60 days. McLean is the # 1 center in the country for psychiatric care. Not doable for my son.
I wish you and your son the very best of luck.