Dear Ellie ~
I am so sorry you're hurting. I understand the anger too. I read someplace that anger is really hurt, fear and frustration, which applies to me anyway. Feeling lonely or being alone is the worst. Especially when you have people in your life who you thought you could count on. The people you refer to like "sucker branches" sound toxic to me....maybe you should cut them from your life? Or, maybe you're not sure, because you don't want to feel lonely, and want to give them another chance maybe? Sounds like you invest A LOT of yourself and your heart in relationships, which in my opinion is a wonderful thing! It's also a rare thing ~ so many people seem to be "busy" so much. Makes you wonder what's wrong with YOU! Not so! I think you'd make a wonderful friend! I hope this helps a bit...