For tuckerp and grandpun my prayers go out to you. That you still love your wife and yearn for her warms my heart. Reading that you are still 'interested' after your surgery and want to do something about it is very encouraging. I don't think it is ever too late to go back to the doctor and ask questions you didn't think to ask.
I joined this chat because I am dating someone who had prostate cancer surgery 2-1/2 years ago and hasn't had the opportunity for intimacy since then. He is only 62. He is becoming frustrated by what he can no longer accomplish compared with his much younger self (I didn't know him then) and I would like suggestions for making closeness pleasurable but not penis-focused. As a writer, I thought there would be more information out there in book form, or on the Internet, to answer questions and share experience. Unfortunately, the penis pump has to be the correct size and they are not returnable. If you get one that is too small your erection gets painfully caught in the device and it is unlikely that you would want to try again. Again, thank you.