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No One Can Tell Me Why My Mom Can't Walk......
Nearly 2 years ago now my 65 year old mom woke up one day experiencing alot of dizziness. She didn't describe it as vertigo but it looked like it a bit when she would have a spell.
Slowly, she began to have more and more issues moving her right side. It was a combination of weakness in the limbs, along with the feeling that her brain was not communicating to her leg. She was almost dragging it around instead of lifting it up. She's never felt pain or tingling through this entire experience.
Sometime after these symptoms started, she then got extremely swollen feet and I believe her heart rate was up so she went to the hospital and found out she has AFIB. (Apologies i don't know more on this, I have to pry information out of my parents)
A little background on my mom's medical history - she has had severe asthma and crohns disease since she was in her teens. Some skin cancer in the form of moles I believe have been removed and her diet is not great because she avoids fruits and vegetables claiming it's the fiber that irritates her crohns and I'm not doctor so I've always just gone along with it.
They of course saw doctors as these symptoms were affecting her walking. She has seen 2 neurologists who have said that there is nothing stroke like or otherwise in her scans that would be of concern or would cause this. She did roughly 6 months of physical therapy with no improvement (she's still declining today), and recently got an MRI which apparently showed "nothing" while my mom cried in her zoom doctor appt to go over the results. We do know she has a buldging disc in her back somewhere.
My mom went from being a little dizzy and wobbly when she walked, to using a cane to move around, to using a walker in her home. And now almost 2 years later, she is confined to two rooms in her home. Some days she can SLOWLY slide herself down their hallway to the couch on her own, but mostly my dad has to push her in her walker. She has no strength in her right hand or arm at all so she can't pick up a tiny glass of milk. We cut her food up for her like a toddler. my dad has to shower her and sometimes get her cleaned up when she can't get to the bathroom fast enough. Her walking is like watching someone learn to do it for the first time. Sometimes in her pauses you can almost see her telling her leg to move, but it's just not responding. Because all she does now is sit on their couch or lay on their bed, her body is suffering like someone who spends their life in a wheelchair.
She's withering away in front of our eyes and her doctors don't seem to care. Theyre passing her around like it's NORMAL to wake up at 65 one day and no longer be able to walk. She was not the epitomy of health before this but she was active. Looking forward to retirement. Going to her favorite sports teams games. I've lost my mom and she's wasting away in front of us.
I'm begging them to go to a hospital. They haven't. Please. If anyone has any ideas. Anything at all. Suggestions. Even if you agree, the hospital is the next step. I need to find a diagnosis. I have to know why this is happening. I cannot take anymore shrugs.
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hi @emilybhave mri for what? brain, full body?
@emilybhave Welcome to Connect. I understand how frustrating it is to watch your parents make bad choices. The 60’s are still pretty young to be giving up.
I am a spine surgery patient and I had spinal cord compression because of a ruptured disc with bone spurs. What you describe sounds like a spine problem. Loss of use of limbs and incontinence can be caused by spinal cord compression. I remember how exhausting it was for me to use my arms because they were affected and there is nothing you can do to regain strength if nerves or the spinal cord are compressed. Dizziness and vertigo can also be caused by a cervical spine problem. I experienced that because muscle spasms were rotating my first 2 vertebrae and inside of the neck vertebrae there is the vertebral artery on each side. That is part of the blood supply to the brain. It gets stretched and reduces blood flow if it stays rotated causing dizziness.
You mom does have a few other health problems. The spine issues could be something like one vertebrae slipping past another, or a ruptured disc that caused bone spurs to grow. If that happens in the neck and compresses the spinal cord there, it can affect anything in the body below that level. These issues can sneak up on a person without causing a lot of pain. I had the early symptoms of walking with a limp and having to struggle to empty my bladder and without surgical intervention, it could have progressed to a similar situation.
Did you mom have a fall or other injuries that may have injured her spine? Does she have osteoporosis? I ask that because severe osteoporosis can cause spine compression fractures where the vertebrae collapse a bit. With the sudden onset on this and the progression over 2 years, it may be spine related. I also think about strokes, and having afib does increase the risk for stroke.
I agree that she needs to be seen by some specialists. What is the obstacle keeping her from agreeing to an appointment? It may be easier to get cooperation with a consultation rather than entering a hospital through an emergency room. That might be scary because there are so many unknowns. With a specialist for spine or cardiology, you would be starting with a smaller bite of the entire problem. Do you know a good spine specialist in your area? I researched a lot of spine surgeons when I was going through this. That would be a good place to start given that she did have history of a bulging disc.
I remember this hesitation in my own elderly parents with my dad not wanting to go to the hospital and he had pneumonia. With the paramedics standing there, we got him to agree to go be checked out because my mom was worried, so he did it for her. Would that kind of psychology work with your mom? I think she is afraid and needs some emotional support to get through this and to know she won’t be abandoned. What do you think? Fear is a very powerful adversary and gets in the way of rational thinking.
Another suggestion…. Can you go with your mom to appointments and get her to add you to Hippa clearance so the doctors will be able to talk to you? Also sign up for the hospitals patient portal where you can look up medical notes and results. If you mom isn’t comfortable on the internet, you could take over handling this. Talk to your dad. He would probably welcome some help. Caregiver duties for her degree of disability are exhausting. I was a caregiver for my folks with my dad at end stage heart failure and he could no longer walk.
Jennifer
Hospital and an assessment is the first thing.
To overcome their resistance?
Maybe get into counseling yourself and brainstorm with the therapist about the best way to approach the issue?
another idea?
look into their friends and see if there is someone there, that you think they might listen to. Then, approach them to contact your parents.
If you do decide to do that, I would first get a rough assessment from a doctor. So that you can go to their friend and say, "Dr. Smith" said that mom absolutely needs to be seen by a doctor.
Very sorry about the problems, take care.
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1 ReactionWow that is difficult for a child to see. You are not alone.
I’m sorry you are suffering this experience.
My mom had a similar story. She was never active although we all begged her to move. The foundational problem was her fear and distrust of Drs.
She slowly lost the ability to walk, then to shuffle, then to feed herself, then her speech and ended up a quad in bed for 2 years before hospice was called in.
Our story is sad, mom was never actually diagnosed she just slowly slipped away.
I have been told she had Parkinson’s.
Having read some comments below, sounds like good advice; see a specialist who deals with neurological issues. I believe even Parkinson’s can be managed, to some extent, with meds.
Good luck some people do not want to fight anymore. Your mom has been fighting with her health for decades. I’m sure her calculation of what’s ahead is not desirable and has had enough. That is tough on you and your family but we all get there at some point.
I will pray for you and your family. May the grace and mercy of the lord be upon you all.
Tony
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