@h622467. One of my doctors told me that sometimes an antidepressant that was effective becomes less effective and stops working. You wrote that was your experience on paroxetine (Paxil). From what I understand everyone's response to an antidepressant can be different - it works for some people and not for others. My brother and I have found that the same antidepressant works for both of us. Since Lexapro worked for your mother and granddaughter it might work for you. Did you discuss this with your doctor?

Did you stop drinking alcohol through a 12-step program or other recovery group? You might already know that while alcohol feels good in the moment it makes depression and anxiety worse and contributes to the cycle of alcohol use. So being in recovery and taking medication as prescribed sounds like a good place to be for you.

I can see why you want to make a change given how depressed you were when your granddaughter had her graduation party. Even though you had to force yourself out your door I'm thinking you feel good about yourself that you got yourself to the party. Is that true?