First off, so sorry to hear about you wife.

I recently had my RARP and know the side affects will last a while. I read many posts from the guys in this forum about doing the kegals everyday without fail. Many have had good outcomes being faithful doing them regularly. As far as the VED, is a medical grade one? I am going to be purchasing one within a week or two. Any advise you can share would be great.

They said no rehab until 6 weeks post surgery.

I hope everything works out for you.