Chronic is a scary word. It takes time to process and come to grips with, I understand. I'm happy you have a support dog. That's a wonderful positive, as is having a significant other.

I had a very difficult time with acceptance in my chronic pain journey, too. It wasn't until the Mayo Clinic pain rehab doctor drew a tombstone on the whiteboard with the letters RIP that I realized I had to work on acceptance. Sounds harsh, sorry, but it was a big eye opener to me. As difficult as coping with chronic pain and loss is, it does not mean that we have to be defined by it. Pain or not, life goes on - it's how we respond to the changes.

How do you express your feelings? You're really going through a lot right now. Have you acknowledged your grief and the feelings you have toward your loss with family members or friend? Have you tried writing your thoughts and feelings in a journal? One important tool I use is something called "catch and correct". It has to do with maintaining a positive attitude. Positive outlook improves one's ability to face upsetting emotions that chronic pain can produce. When you experience troubling emotions, stop and evaluate your thoughts. Try to replace negative thoughts with rational positive ones. For example, remind yourself that you have a choice in how you respond to your symptoms. Digging deep to find the things you can do and how you can be helpful or make a difference despite your pain. Shifting mindset and focusing on abilities, not limitations can give power back.

How about your mind and engaging in activities that are mentally stimulating like crossword puzzles, crafts, reading, podcasts, etc? Happy distraction and socialization is wonderfully important to give the brain a break from thinking about chronic pain.

I'm happy you found the Connect community so you can talk with others who have an understanding of what you're going through and how you're feeling. Please know that you are not alone and to allow yourself grace and forgiveness. I encourage you to follow up and reschedule telehealth appointments, don't give up on yourself. I know I threw lot your way but hopefully it was helpful. Hang in there and stay connected, my friend.

When is your next procedure to relocate the stimulator?