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It is not easy, this work of looking as realistically as I can at my living situation and imagining my abilities to manage life as I continue to age!
I want to continue to live a creative life. For that I need physical, emotional and spiritual space, and time. Creativity needs time and space!
I've been tossing large amounts of "packed away" things. 150 issues of a glossy magazine from my years as editor. I clipped my best editorial opinions and tossed the magazines - the peak of my professional career now reduced to a half inch file, enough to remind me of what I did and what I valued.
The paintings on the walls, paintings that once meant a lot to me. Do I really enjoy them now or are they just filling space on the wall and in my mind?
Would I miss them if they were gone, or would I feel freedom from so many memories of past times?
Would I perhaps fill the wall space and mind space with something new, maybe something very transient but very alive?
I want to know today more than yesterday.
I want the lightness of my youth when I owned little and moved easily.
Am I denying my real age, or am I passionate to get the most of every day that is left to me?
Aging in place should be about joy of living, not about fear of loss!
Replies to "It is not easy, this work of looking as realistically as I can at my living..."
Good afternoon, @edsutton. What a wonderful editing job you have designed and shared. Six years ago, I made the decision to sell my home in the mountains above Palm Springs and move to central Minnesota alongside the Mississippi River; here's what happened. On the very first viewing........the house sold. Because my life partner was going to be staying at Mayo Clinic for prostate cancer treatment, I was his caregiver and unavailable to make decisions about what to save and what to sell or give away.
Somehow, a couple of friends got everything moving, and I received a three-week extension on the "hand it over" day. You can see where this is going. Just like you I had led a creative life and had been in this art community for 23 years. So everything was going pretty well.........my customers were invited to view art and choose a gift for themselves. Local non-profits received business elements, kitchenware, and private treasurers. The moving van was done stashing away memory items and treasures in a couple of hours.
It has been six years now, and I have encountered just a few sad "I miss you" items. Letting go is sometimes a real challenge. Here is how I protect myself: I do not look at the house photos the realtor's photographer took and put together for me. I store all my treasures and historical documents in a box under my bed.
Just so you know......the only thing I miss is my "Roxie" (Cavalier King Charles Spaniel), who left this world without me.
May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris
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Hi Ed - I loved your description "I want the lightness of my youth when I owned little and moved easily."
I felt very lightened when I passed on the massive set of dinnerware & silverware for entertaining - I no longer feel the need to plan & manage holiday dinners for dozens. The "lighter" version is an non-holiday open house where family comes and goes and simple snacks are contributed by all. I can relax and enjoy the camaraderie.
I am also reevaluating all of the photos and artwork on our walls - leaning towards simple displays of art created by my family and myself. In place of walls of paintings, photography and family photos, a frame with an everchanging display of old and new pictures. As favorite artwork is removed from a wall, I will photograph it and add it to the library on the frame.
There is a wonderful "upside" to this - we can enjoy our photos and artwork in whichever home we inhabit - now and in the future. It easily travels easily with us to our "tiny home" and occupies the space of a single medium-sized painting.
Wow, writing this gives rise to another idea - those boxes full of photos in the cupboard can be culled to a few favorites on the frame. Others that are meaningful can be scanned, and captions added, to give an easily stored pictorial history to our kids. Sounds like a project for my bad-lung days when I am trapped indoors!