@abob, I can't imagine how deflating it is to still be working through this situation weeks later. You're correct to be frustrated and confused.
I'm fortunate to be seen in a health system where all specialties, care centers, and labs are under one umbrella. Everything doesn't work perfectly every time, and they too are struggling with the demands of many patients, and not always enough caregivers, or general staff. Based on your story and the stories of others I've come to feel grateful for my own set of treatment teams.
I would think the surgeon's office would only want you there after they have all of the info from the oncologist. The surgeon's office has asked you to keep the appointment, so for now, that's the plan that I would go with. I would certainly call late on Friday or Monday morning (if the appointment isn't first thing in the morning) to verify that everything is in place. You could also ask the oncologist's office if they've spoken to the surgeon too and remind them of the Monday appointment.
I hope this is resolved for you and your husband soon.