Hi, I'm new to this site but it sure brought back memories. I had lost my job and my husband in the same year. My best lifetime friend and mentor died 4 yrs prior and I never got through the grieving process when I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. I didn't seem to have the problem you are going through. I drove myself to the hospital surgery morning with the mind set that "I'm not afraid, God is with me, he will take care of the surgeon and me". I followed his instructions for the following 30 yrs with no problem. I did not have chemo or radiation because the tumor was completely enveloped in the kidney and it had not gotten to the nodes. I know this was due to God's intervention. I did not have to worry about my job, because I didn't have one to return to and I did not return for 8 yrs to the work force. I ended up depleting my 401k and had taken my work insurance with me, so I was still covered. Just as I got down to the last of my money, I got another job, which I found is just what ai needed. I should have left the other job 20 yrs sooner than I did. Remember, when one door closes, another one opens. Don't let the negative thoughts drown you. You've gotten this far in life to have other people stop you. We were about the same age. Don't let that slow you down either. People your age is exactly what is needed in todays work force. Good luck and God bless you.