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How to handle luggage when flying?

Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: May 7 8:56am | Replies (28)

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My husband went into assistive living at 77, he has a diagnosis of vascular dementia, his first neuropsych testing was 10 years ago, when he mentioned to his PCP that he was noticing memory problems. The test results led to the diagnosis of MCI, so I knew what was coming, just took awhile to get there. My job as a Home Care OT took me in and out of all local ALs and nursing homes.

I would recommend not holding yourself to just looking at “Memory Care”units unless he is a wanderer and needs a locked unit (not a lot of dementia people have this motivation and initiative). On a “general” floor, there will be people of varying ages, who for whatever reason, need the structure and available care in AL. Some have diabetes and need close monitoring (4 sticks daily) and no one at home to do the sticks and draw up the insulin. Some have had strokes, cognitively fine, but again, without a caregiver at home. Some have adult children who live a distance and couldn’t keep up with all the duties of keeping a home or apartment going. My husband was taken in by a group of four guys- three have dementia and the leader has had a stroke. He gets everybody laughing, organizes calling on his cellphone weekly for DoorDash to bring take-out, and schedules the retired guys from his band to come in monthly and play for everyone. You’ll be surprised how the opportunities for socialization (especially with “the guys”) will brighten your hubby’s spirits.
When making visits to see if a place might suit, of course, look for cleanliness, repairs done, no unpleasant odors, residents look well-cared for , etc. Then, I believe the best advice is to not look for chandeliers, but to look for how the staff appears- do you see kindness in their interactions with the residents, is there laughing, maybe a little teasing, are there smiles, do they make eye contact with you? My area has several “luxurious” ALs, the one I chose has “family home” vibe and not a single chandelier 🤣
Funny story- there is a bus stop/shelter with a bench near my husband’s AL. The “guy group” thinks it’s hilarious to take a walk there (the leader keeps the dementia guys together and is pushed in his wheelchair by one). They park themselves on the bench at the bus shelter and wait for the next bus. The drivers stop, look at this group in horror, they laugh uproariously and say they’re just resting from a walk. Laughter and teasing ensue, the drivers are getting to know them and they always stop.

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Replies to "My husband went into assistive living at 77, he has a diagnosis of vascular dementia, his..."

I loved this story and you have enlightened me on the thought of AL vs just thinking Memory Care.
My husband is still in the MCI category but I am proactively thinking about our future. I recently put deposits down on two different CCRC facilities. They are both very nice and have all the levels of care including rehab as needed. They also both have at least 3-4 year waiting lists. My hope is that we will be able to move into and enjoy an independent living apartment together before thinking we need another level for him and God willing my brain stays intact. I just turned 72 and my husband is 77.
Thank you for this story.