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HoLEP Log: What did you experience pre and post-op?

Men's Health | Last Active: Jun 3 3:04pm | Replies (33)

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May 2nd - 12 weeks post op.
From what I have read, most of my healing should be completed by now.

Where am I in the process?

Sex and Retrograde:
Ejaculation intensity is about 98% of pre-op. I'm only leaving off 2% because I still feel like there's something missing.
I'm making a big assumption that there is some nerve endings towards the end of your penis which gives you that completion or satisfaction feeling after ejaculation.
Since I do not feel the semen coming out, I miss that feeling.
It's not a visual thing it's purely sensual.
At times I could swear it's coming out the correct way, but it's not. I've actually had my wife check herself a couple times, nothing there.
My semen appears to be contained within the urethra or prostate. I’m assuming this due the globs of semen I urinate out after sex.
I've never had cloudy urine.

If I'm full, within 5 seconds, I relax and it just comes out in a full stream.
If I'm not full, 15-20 seconds, I relax, feeling the urine coming down, slowly, but when it comes out it sprays until a full stream is achieved.
Pushing to start a stream is very common for me unless I'm very full.
Spaying is new to me; I did not spray prior to my surgery. It seems to have gotten a little bit better since I 1st mentioned spraying,

I have found that certain foods (salty) or supplements will cause a delay in starting a flow (15-20 sec), regardless of how full I am.

I still feel, couple times a day, some burning at the end of my penis.
Nothing intense, but notable.

Some odds and ends:
Recently, in the perineum area, I feel like I pulled a muscle. Not sure how, not exactly sure when.
That lasted for a couple of days. And it literally felt like a pulled muscle on the right side of my perineum south of my rectum.

Stun gun shocks:
I used to get these on the right side of my perineum all the time. 3 weeks ago they shifted to my left side. However I have not felt any for the last week or so.
It literally feels like somebody briefly turned on a stun gun. The shock radiates from my rectum to the end of my penis. Very much a surprise when it happens.

This one will not leave me alone. I get up on average between 2 and 4 times a night.
I still have bouts of anxiety when I'm trying to sleep, so on occasion I'll take Xanax, if my supplement stack doesn't work.
The Xanax allows me to sleep through the night without bathroom breaks.
The stack lets me sleep between two and four hours on average between bathroom breaks.
If I don't take the stack or xanax, sometimes, I can get two to three times between bathroom breaks.
Everything is dependent up on my anxiety level at bedtime.

Going to the bathroom, pre-op, multiple times before I leave the house is still a standard procedure for me, when it shouldn't be.

I have no regrets

The frog in boiling water metaphor is the best way I can describe my pre-op condition.
My condition declined over the years until I was about to reach the boiling point, but didn't recognize it. I automatically adapted to my new normal.

A few weeks post-op, I started looking back and recognized the extreme severity of my condition, mentally and physically.
Physically, it was bad, no substantial complaints on my current status.
Mentally, it was worse. This is something which will take me awhile to overcome. Occasional depression, anxiety is the main issue.

Depression is simply chemical, changes in body chemistry, since I no longer am on edge all the time, my body chemistry goes in the opposite direction some times.
Anxiety, I'm down to 3 times a week, mainly when I'm trying to sleep.

Pre-op days I would basically play beat the clock.
Could I get to sleep before I had to go to the bathroom? This was critical at the time because it took me anywhere from 20min - 2hrs to empty my bladder.
By that time I was wide awake again.
This is the source of anxiety which is lingering today.

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Replies to "May 2nd - 12 weeks post op. From what I have read, most of my healing..."

Hey there. I know what you mean about the part that's "missing." I have the same interpretation about the sensual aspect of the urethra sensing the semen flow. In my case it's urine with an off-kilter PH from antibiotics.
Since my first ejaculation, too early I admit, I too have felt that ache in the perineum with a dull intermittent shock which is not that remarkable, (fits your description well).

Since the two years of wearing an indwelling catheter, I became a little neurotic, anxious and fearful of which the suppression of these led to depression. My outlook was hopeless, I couldn't see any positive outcome from this or the surgery. Future-thinking, poor outlook and prolonged fighting of a chronic UTI was also affecting my emotional state. I did not know that I had been protecting myself by unconsciously pushing people away. It wasn't until after the surgery, in retrospect and introspect that this had been a running background noise that I had become accustomed to out of self preservation. My, what a change. I feel diametrically the opposite. Light, like a helium balloon and opening up to new ideas and decisions.

If this healing keeps up, I am ready to begin a new chapter of my life.
Thank you for your time and effort at logging your experience, it is valuable.