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@edsutton - Thank you for this - I'm really taking these concerns and the actions you've taken to heart, especially as we are transitioning my mother from "Independent Living" to "Personal Care" this week.
But I do wonder if you could elaborate on one thing I find hard to escape - I have a pared-down (but still comprehensive!) collection of lifetime memorabilia, school notebooks, souvenirs, accomplishments, etc. that I think may fall into some of the kinds of collections you are paring down now.
I feel like 'once these things / items / evidence of a life (mine!)' are gone, they ARE GONE.
Somehow I greatly fear I will not give myself credit for them unless I can see them.
And the funny thing is - at least up until now - it's not like I've gone through them to remind myself of these things, or more specifically, give myself a pat on the back for what I've done and lived (which we all deserve to enjoy and appreciate, each in our own unique way).
Trying to put this into words is harder than I expected, so I wonder if it makes sense here; but if anyone else has similar thoughts/concerns when facing paring down (before it is even more of a burden in a physically compromised later stage of life), I welcome your ideas as well!
After transitioning my mother, I anticipate I will either: be exhausted, and avoid this paring-down task for a bit longer (i.e., procrastinate!), OR I will be energized by the realization of how important a task it is, especially while one is more physically up to the task. Will see!
Replies to "@edsutton - Thank you for this - I'm really taking these concerns and the actions you've..."
Good morning! Thinking about clearing out all of our treasures can be both emotional and daunting. But, last summer my husband and I had a HUGE garage sale. As we sorted through each room, we would ask our children what they might want, if anything, and then proceeded to put price tags on the remaining items. We were surprised at how little our children actually wanted. What we saw as treasures they saw as clutter. We understood. They’re making their own memories! We did pass along baby photo albums to them, but then I pared down the remaining photos to one small box. We sold so much it was crazy and cathartic. What we didn’t sell, we donated. Of course, we kept things that just had too many feelings attached to them, but they were few and far between. It wasn’t as emotional as I feared and we made some extra money. We hope our treasures will allow other families to start making their own memories. Going room to room, closet to closet, cabinet to cabinet worked for us. Our goal was to make it as easy as possible for our children when we ultimately pass. Trust me, we still have “stuff”, but nothing like we had pre garage sale. I wish you well on your paring down journey.
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I too could so identify with what you are going through! My husband passed away last July, and I - sometimes had to and sometimes wanted to - get rid of his obsessions. I felt I gave his life away! It’s hard!
One lesson I’m learning, knowing downsizing is necessary: I’ll keep what I really treasure, give away items I know family members appreciate, then donate, and trash. Have to close my eyes and grit my teeth sometimes.
Bet a lot of us going through the same very difficult situation.
Let’s hang in there!