I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way and to know you were abused by someone that you should have been able to trust. There are some things that we will never understand why in this fallen world, I agree with the other writer about developing a relationship with our creator, God! Not to focus on the religious laws and regulations but ask Jesus to help you. You are here for a reason and you matter. I am praying for a supernatural intervention in your life. You are in a community of loving friends. Please stay connected. ❤️😇