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I am very very sorry for all you have suffered. My own history is not all that different. And, over the years I have been suicidal as well. Mostly in 1983 and 1984, after being a violent crime victim.
Yes, therapists help.
But, you know, just be patient about everything. You have been profoundly wounded by life.
That may take some time to heal.
You are a strong person.
If not, you would have never posted at all.
That strength will serve you well and things will get better over time.
My mother did horrible, horrible things to me and to my brother. Criminal things.
But, we are both still here. My brother just got back from a wonderful birding trip in nature.
I am a faithful servant to my cat. I just do whatever she wants me to do. She makes me call her, "Your Majesty." It is not a relationship based on parity, but I don't mind serving my Queen.
Hang in there. Take care now.
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I am so sorry to hear you are feeling this way and to know you were abused by someone that you should have been able to trust. There are some things that we will never understand why in this fallen world, I agree with the other writer about developing a relationship with our creator, God! Not to focus on the religious laws and regulations but ask Jesus to help you. You are here for a reason and you matter. I am praying for a supernatural intervention in your life. You are in a community of loving friends. Please stay connected. ❤️😇
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Thank you for all your very positive comments. I am not sure I deserve them but I certainly appreciate them. Right now I am in a very low and contemplative mood. For whatever reason I have been called a negative person. This has hit me very hard because I never thought this about myself. Evidently, though, this is what they see. So for now I am keeping a low profile. I do not have a pet, although many people recommend this. I enjoy watching shows about animals but I do not think I am capable of actually having a pet in the house. To your last sentence, I am hanging in because what else can I do? Again, I thank you.