@rom828 - I thought the hard part was the treatments - boy was I wrong. Sometimes I feel fearful - and sometimes I can't even express what I'm fearful of. Other times everything my husband does annoys me and I wonder I have enough to worry about - why do I put up with the stuff that he does that annoys me. I'm extremely fortunate - I really did breeze through my chemo, surgery (bilateral - no reconstruction) and radiation - those had a fixed duration. This "survivorship" doesn't have an fixed duration. I'm only 1 year post treatment. I'm TNBC & BRCA2+ and my recurrence is highest the first 5 years post treatment. So am I going to be fearful for the next 4 years until I get past my 5 year milestone? I sure hope not - the stress and anxiety will do me no good. I have started doing some yoga and mediation and I hope that helps.

There are many times people ask how are you doing and I tell them "I'm fine"; but the opposite is true - how can you explain to someone the anxiety and worry about "am I doing everything I can to suppress a recurrence - will anything I do make any difference?" There is nothing they can say or do - and they just won't even understand the question. This site has been a safe place for me to vent and learn what others are doing to help make "survivorship" less stressful. Thank you for letting me vent.