IMO the first appointment with an oncologist is the most important one.
Perhaps they don't realize how stressful the situation is nor the amount of doubt and questions you have.
Alot of Dr's think we all know what they're talking about, wrong most of us have zero clue about any details nor acronyms they use.
The first oncologist I went to was almost an hr late then tried to bum rush me. I basically had to block the door to get answers to even simple questions.
I didn't go back especially when he billed me for more than twice the time he spent in the room.
Alot of us don't have friends who have gone through this and can help us out, luckily some forums are available like here at Mayo Clinic.
I've had regular Dr's scoff at an issue I brought up, well it wasn't on the chart up front.
I've gotten to where I take a written list every time as not to leave a question unasked.
New oncologist couldn't be any nicer and listens to questions. He went over all the tests(nobody else did) and didn't BS, if he didn't know he said so.
We need to follow up on this and that, next time as we've done enough for today.
He wanted brutal honesty about everything including quality of life issues, don't be Embarrassed.
I was brutally honest about other facilities and Dr's I had seen.
He actually typed into chart everything I had been through(the other Dr's skimmed it at best) even noting issues I had traveling.

I learned a long time ago if you don't feel the Dr is a good fit for you or have issues with facilities that you should move on as it will not get better.