Being the one with stage IV inoperable pancreatic cancer I can say it is sometimes easy to discuss some things, but not easy for others. I have been alive with this now for almost 2 years (known diagnosis). At first, I only tried to get my banking and things like that rearranged with my husband. I wanted to go places but had not the energy to accomplish doing a lot like traveling. Also Covid was still causing many issues. Now I am in radiologic remission where the cancer is no longer seen on CT. I am still cautious but try to increase my activities. Now, I could try to plan for things but there is always still a concern of what the next labs & CT will reveal. The near future (3 months) is somewhat easier now to think about. I find I am "preordering" books & movies believing I will be here to read/see them. I would welcome discussions that are planned out and take into consideration travel method, meals, restrooms available, do I need wheelchair or walker or cane?, what type of food service is available, crowd management. If I am in a good or stable mood, then that would be a great time to discuss possibilities for family events & vacations. Your loved one may be afraid to speak with the oncologist about prognosis. My husband attends all doctor/oncologist visits with me. No one, not even the oncologist, can predict what the future may hold. My first oncologist gave me 11 months with treatment. It will be 2 years in June that he told me that 🙂 I know my current oncologist has spoken privately with family members because the family members have told me when I selected this one that he will do this for them.
It is so hard to know how to approach this subject & being a retired nurse does not make it any easier. I do feel that we can plan or not plan & life will continue to happen. I could have a plane fall on our house. I could be hit by a car. There are a lot of "could happens" out there, but I look for the positive & say thanks for every day I am here. I still buy yarn, patterns & hooks like I will be here forever! As I have seen on Facebook lately: "I have enough yarn to live until I am 749 years old" :).